Nobody understands or seems to want to

hi mich . wanted to say hello , its great u have a great team leader who understands that sometimes u need time off the phones ( i also work on phones and understand that sometimes u just phsycally cant talk or u would scream ) its good u have been to the docs again which is a positive move on yr part , u do sound exhausted as well as depressed and perhaps u need some chilling out time , yr second counsellor wasnt any good but that doesnt mean they all are and perhaps u need to try a new one ....... please dont feel helpless u have already helped yrself by talking and getting how u feel off of yr chest , please try a bit of relaxation and chill out time , keep posting and let me know how u r getting on take care

helenxx

Thank u so much for all your kind words of support - really needed those of Friday to keep me going. Just after I posted, I had a meeting with the office manager (my team leader had left for the day) to see how i was going, as soon as i mentioned the 'd' word her stance changed. I might as well have said i had the plague i would have prob got the same reaction. On of my colleagues is currently off work with depression and i feel that i need to get across to people including her 'friends' that she didn't choose to feel like this and doesn't want to feel like this and needs support in the ways you would get support and understand for other illnesses. I know what its like to be pretty much rejected and don't want them to go through the same thing. Working in an office can be pretty lonely when you have to face your former friends on a daily basis.
Helen I was really beginning to think I was the only one who sometimes just couldn't physically speak! I mentioned to my doc about this and all she then said well why was that!! Surely if i knew the reasons why i could work on improving the situation. I spent the best part of last week struggling to speak with anyone except my team leader at work. Which made it and is still making it awkward at work with other team members. You know when you get into the office and you do the niceties - how you going etc to everyone? I couldn't really say well actually i spent most of yesterday breaking down and feel really low.
Siobhan, a friend who did psychotherapy a while back said this was so much more beneficial than counselling or cbt - right now I would really like to try anything not tried before, thank u for suggesting it. I will not be seeing my normal doctor tomorrow - but really need to speak to one urgently and the surgery wont tell me when my doctor is next back. At that appointment she said if it became necessary to see her sooner that than the 4 weekly appointment made for me then i should straight away.
Jamie, thank u so much for your kind words. My team leader is great as shes a massive support outside of work too, she always has time even though shes got a million things on at the mo planning her wedding and the like. One day last week i was lower than normal so didnt want to bother her and she said that however low i get im not to shut her out.
Am hoping steps forward will be made at tommorrow appointment will keep u posted

Mich xx

Hi guys, dont know what to think now after my docs appointment. She said that they were becoming extremely limited on what to next with my medication as I've been tried on all the non addictive anti depressants - she was scrolling up and down my history and was looking really deflated. So we could maybe increase or decrease my current meds, even though ive been going down ever since the dose was last increased. There is also no other options pain or sleeping wise for the same addictive reasons. So in not so many words ive got a choice about being like this forever or ending up with an addiction which she doesn't want to be blamed as being the cause (her words). I mentioned the psychotherapy, and she wasn't very positive about that at all. When i got home i did a bit more research and in the uk pretty much anyone can call themselves a psychotherapist until 2012 when the industry is gonna become more regulated. Any ideas would be really appreciated, as i have until 5pm Friday to figure out what i want to happen next - im not the medical proffessional! My boss is going to love me needing more time off for another docs appointment!!

Mich