death and grieving

Hi everyone,
I'm from the chronic pain forum but thought i would come here to ask a question..

One of my best friends dads was killed in the plane crash in the congo with the whole sundance board..
Obviously it has been so hard for everyone around her and friends with her family.. Shes an incredibly strong girl so is her family, but of course each day is a struggle for her.. i hate watching her and try to help in everyway i can, even if its just a long hug and a shoulder to cry on.. i'm really sick at the moment but try to cook their family dinner once or twice a week and do what i can.. i just don't know how else to help and make it easier, does anyone have any ideas? and i know its different for everyone but how long will it take for her to start feeling better and accepting it completely but still missing him obviously?
Thanks heaps

I have lost many people in my life, and the best gift those around me would do, was just BE with me. I have never 'talked', or 'offloaded' on my friends about things that really matter, (This is the only way I can cope, is to keep it all in, not healthy I know, but it is what it is).

Just going to a coffee shop, even without talking about what is going on, can make a huge difference to the way I feel about the day. Or a friend texting, or calling in for a coffee, for me, it really is the little things that make a huge difference.

As for time, it is an individual thing, there are no rules, it takes as long as it takes. I don't think you ever really get over it, at least, that's my experience, it changes who you are inside, and it feels like a huge empty hole.

I commend you for helping your friend, you are already making a difference to her, I applaud you.

Hi Buttercup

The whole circumstance of that plane crash was horrific especially for the families of the Australians on board and of course the families of the other victims.

I think as htd said, just being there for them, letting them talk about the good times and encouraging them to remember happy family times that will stay with them forever would be a good way to console them. It is very hard for all concerned but especially if you are a friend who is trying to help but not knowing quite how to. You are a good friend to them and I am sure they appreciate your comforting ways.

I am sorry I couldn't offer much more advice but just continue doing what you are doing for them.