2 steps up and 3 steps back

Just wanted to let you guys know that I am still without a computer and probably will be for awhile.  We can't take up a "hardship" fund for me? LOL

Anyway, scary new meds, exciting surprises and a house all to myself again or did I already tell you that?

Im doing ok, sleeping alot better almost like I used too.  Some really touching signs lately and I think that has given me new faith in my life and boy do I need that.

Feeling ok today a little tired and once again not sleeping real well.  Had my son this weekend and we did alot together.  I didnt get to spend alot of time with him over the summer because of "the visitors" so it was a beautiful day Saturday so there is an airport a couple miles down the road and they were taking kids up in the planes for an aviation day celebration.  He had a great time and was so excited.  We went with my neighbor Gary and his son Nicky.  Gary has been really sick lately and his dialysis is taking a toll so I am trying to spend time with him before it gets cold.  I am not sure if he will be here next year.

Going to my neuro doc on wednesday to have the VNS turned off and schedule to have it removed.  I will keep you up to date.

Just wanted to stop and let you know that the vns is not going to be removed because of insurance!!!!!  I have started weaning myself off of all my meds except for the ritalin and prozac and of course the zyrem. 

I feel like I am running in circles again.  Still without a computer because I need to get a job and forget that I am in pain.  Life is just a mess right now and I need some divine intervention soon!!!!!

I just read through your post and I'm sorry to hear that you have health issues that you are dealing with.  It is good that you had a relaxing and fun day to spend with your son though!

I felt bad when I read your ending line of going to the library to see if you had any replies and found you had none.  That really touched me, because when I post it always means so much to hear perspectives and thoughts from other people.

So, unfortunately, I do not have any real words of wisdom to offer you at the moment, except to hang in there and take one day at a time.  I know that's much easier said than done, but try to keep your mind busy with other things (hobby or reading perhaps) and that helps the time feel more productive.

Good luck with your surgery.

Cass

I am so sorry that I haven't been here to reply to your posts.  I started working again and I have been super busy.  Trying to get Christmas started, done and over.  I panic if I wait too long, so I start it really early, so far I have bought for three of my grandsons, but have a ways to go yet.

I hope that you are feeling well.  I am so glad to see you posting.  Sorry that you have to go to the library to do it though.  Keep us up on what is going on with you.

Take care my dear friend.

Hugs, Karen

Just really sad.

I am sorry to report that my visit with my doc was horrible.  In fact, I am considering, no I am changing docs!  I found this doc through a friend several years ago and was impressed with his patient care.  After my visit, I must have caught him on a "day" where he was euphoric.  Long story short, I was make to feel like a hypocondriac and for serious complaints I was told it would be fine.  Having a problem with your breast I think at least warrants a mammogram!

When I left there I called my neuro doc and she is going to see me next thursday before she does rounds at the hospital.  She isnt even seeing patients that day but feels that the chronic symptoms and obvious failure of this doc to run tests needs to be addressed.

I will let you know.