Life

Self-esteem is not something I've ever had much of. The most I've ever had was right before I ended up here, and it was part of what brought me this low.

I've been trying for the last few years of my life. Every time I've tried, things have gotten worse...and I'm not exaggerating or making things up, that's the truth.

I don't want meds. They don't fix problems.

David, you're not helping yourself.
You don't want to talk to your parents
You don't want a counselor.
You don't want meds.
Glenda the Good Witch doesn't come here and touch us with her magic wand.

What are you looking for?
You don't want to read SELF-HELP books, you think they made you feel worse.
Good ones have been suggested. Start with Self-Talk by Shad Helm--something. He's a classic.
Meds help you when you are depressed. You are clearly refusing help, ruminating, and one does not just snap out of it. Antidepressants aren't forever. They are good. They help get you "up" enough to see and address your problems. Not suggested as a "fix".
Its hard to be objective and receive words of encouragement when you are so depressed.
I'm fresh out of words now.

And you say your parents are part of the problem, how's that?
Do you have siblings?
Do you have a drug or alcohol problem? Not accusing, just want to tell you from personal experience that they don't work to solve anything. More trouble than they're worth.
How old are you?
Are you just pulling my leg? Ah, stoppit, it hurts
How long are you planning on staying stuck in this crummy place you're occupying?

Can't you pick one thing out of all the advice we have given you and just go with it?

OK, David, you have not wasted my time. I guess tough-love didn't work, ha ha.
I and others here, but I seem to be around when you are, all want to help you because we have felt the way you do to a certain extent at one time or another. Call it an affliction of the young.
You are not defective.
Your parents comments indicate that they notice, but don't know what to do, common. Are they contributing to your misery?
Your siblings, do they seem to have a temperament similar to yours? Using drugs and stuff is sometimes self-medication to numb these bad feelings. Do they?
Noticed anything like this in your parents? This is sometimes genetic.
You didn't say how old you are, pls do.
Don't tell me you're going to give up on yourself. What a waste. You are a human being, you have a right to be here. You have a right to get help to overcome this problem. It won't go away by itself. You've let it go for a long time.
You don't have to know what you want to do. Pick something from the suggestions. Don't decide ahead of time it won't work because you're such a lost cause.
Are you going to be up for awhile?
Google "treating low self-esteem." "Self talk." Dig something out that makes sense to you. You are saying very negative things about yourself to yourself ALL THE TIME. STOP IT ITS NOT TRUE DON'T BELIEVE IT.

OK, how old are you? As in, do you have a credit card? Can you order stuff from Amazon? They have cheap used books, that's what I use to check up on things. The library is good sometimes, but of course you actually have to go there. Could be a problem.
I told you all the stuff I would have missed out on if I had just given up.
Keep posting.

Good, David, that's a healthier attitude. Trying something to improve things.
Gosh, senior in HS. You're almost out of there. I couldn't wait to be out. Was very controlled by my parents who would not let me do or go anywhere. A friend here and there, but only in school. When the reins finally loosened up, I was a social basketcase. Didn't dance, didn't bowl, never had pizza, never had a boyfriend, didn't know about music, didn't understand any sports, and couldn't relate. And was scared to death to even be in those situations. So then, no car, no money, what a future. So, I enrolled in nursing school because it was a rule that you lived in the dorm, and it was 3 yrs not 4. Full time, no off time. I loved it. Still had trouble relating to the other girls. But was on my own, and it was cheap. Free room and board. City-county hospital, pretty crappy but it didnt matter because I was out. I didn't even want to be a nurse. It was my ticket out.
But out in a way that meant moving on in life.
So what are you finding to read? Post again.

Looks like you hit the mother lode of self-help. Think I will read this too. Buzzed thru CH1 so I could get back to the whole book itself. Seems comprehensive. I've heard of this guy before, some people just adore him, I think I read something else a free book on the internet. I like that he is sincere and provides free help.
What do you think about this?

Yep.

I set up a word doc, titled it, saved it, minimized it, and plan on cutting and pasting things that really strike me as "gold". And that I believe will be helpful to me. Sometimes I read things and then vaguely remember, then can't find them.

Did you read his Bio? He started out on a lower rung. He did all this work, revised and updated it again, and its free. I'm glad you showed me this.