post divorce moving on

movingon45

New Member

Joined : Nov 2010

Posts : 1

Posted 11/12/2010 3:49 AM (GMT 0)

Hi! I am new to forums and was wondering if there is anyone with experience with the problem I have been dealing with for the past 6 years. I have an ex husband who will just not let me go. He is unable to move on thus I have allowed him to prevent me from moving on. It is to the point that he makes me physically ill dealing with him, but I do it anyway to keep a decent relationship with him for the kids. He needs help, but I cannot help him. I need help finding a way to stop allowing him to bring me down so much which is what he did our entire 20 yr marriage,

Trying to Understand

Veteran Member

Joined : Sep 2010

Posts : 776

Posted 11/14/2010 4:11 AM (GMT 0)

You have to set up boundaries, limits, and live your own life. Be blunt, tell him quietly away from the kids that he is calling too much and coming over too much. And emphasize that after all that IS why you are divorced. You need your own space.

He needs to seek help for his problems, you can't do it for him. Tell him he needs a professional to talk to. And get someone for yourself to help you deal with him, as I am sure you need advice and support after 20 yrs of that.

Being peaceable and presenting a united front is great for the kids. He's taking advantage of you by using that, "for the kids" to discuss his personal issues. You gotta sever it.

What I think, anyway. Hope it helps.

Sometimes i am me (HT)...

Elite Member

Joined : Mar 2009

Posts : 22619

Posted 11/14/2010 12:36 PM (GMT 0)

YOU MAY REQUIRE AN INTERVENTION ORDER. I WOULD DISCUSS YOUR SITUATION WITH YOUR LOCAL POLICE. THEY CAN PREPARE A STATEMENT FOR YOU SO THE JUDGE/MAGISTRATE CAN MAKE AN EFFECTIVE RULING. BE SAFE. WITH COMPASSION, JAMIE.

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