Lost in Fantasy

Hello

I Find that i've been lost in fantasy my whole life. Real life just never seems enough. As a child i always imagined that i would always go far in life. I fantasized about my future when i grew all the time. Time slipped by...now 3 decades later i find i never went anywhere. I spent soo much time addicted to the fantasies that i was consumed by them and forgot about that there was a real life out there. My life in my head is so much more gratifying than the one in the real world.Now my life has suffered and feels empty.

I am now desperate to change before life runs out and i waste it all. problem is i just don't know how. I tell myself everyday that i'm going to do better today and work before my goals but i get depressed and anxious without understanding why. i tell myself i'll just rest a little till it passes and then i'll do something.A few moments of rest turns into hours of fantasy and then i have another wasted dayand i go bed feeling terrible.

I've been this way as long as i can remember. My Mum gets so angry and calls me lazy and selfish but i think it more complicated than laziness or selfishness though cause i cant seem to motivate myself to do things that are important to me, things i want to do desperately to do.

My fantasy world has become my addiction i believe i cant stop even when i desperately want to. I really need to know if my mum is right? Am i just making excuses for being a lazy cop out.
sorry it just getting me down, i dont even know if this is the right place for this sorry.

use them in a goal orientated way. i do. welcome

to the forum tripz. things come in all manner of ways. keep positive my friend. with compassion, jamie.