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Feeling hopeless

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Posted 11/25/2010 8:15 PM (GMT 0)
I am a 41 year old female suffering from depression and I can't find a way out of it. Ive had depression for the past 10 years on and off and also suffered from other mental health problems which has resulted in me being hospitalised. I just feel I'm going downhill and can't feel okay. Ive recently moved to start a course as I thought that would help me have something to work on and help me out of this but I've found that it has made no difference. I find it hard to concentrate on the course and have no aspirations atall. I would just pack it in if I had anything else to do.
Ive been the GP and explained how Im feeling but all they can suggest is that I carry on with the course and take anti depressants. For me I find anti depressants don't work atall and have come off them. I find I'm much happier when I'm around other people and am worst when I spend long periods of time alone but I have few friends so am on my own alot. Ive got to the stage where I'm really panicking about my future and don't know what to do for the best. I can't read much or do sewing or gardening - the kind of activites that people say I should try to keep busy. I'm just too depressed. If anyone else has been in this frame of mind Id like to know how you managed to get over the depression or cope with it. I feel totally incapable really.
Posted 11/25/2010 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Catnat,

Welcome to the forum. Have you tried different antidepressants, or just the one? Often it takes a few tries to find what is right for the individual. So don't give up on that.

I find that walking helps me a lot. I walk as much as I can. It gets oxygen to the brain and that makes us feel well and think clearer. So you might want to stick a 10 or 15 minute walk into your daily schedule if you can. It gets the endorphines going and that also makes us feel good.

I have learned that in order to not dwell on the future, we need to take life one day at a time. So try that. Try to live in the now and focus on the present. Worrying about the future only causes us anxiety that we don't need.

Keep posting and know that we here do care about you. Don't give up on things in life. Try to forget about the past and not worry about the future. Live in the now. Meditation works well for me. You have to practice it whenever you can. I meditate at night to help me to fall asleep. But it clears you head and brings you into the moment.

Don't give up. Keep posting and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 11/25/2010 11:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen thanks for your reply. It helps to feel people can relate to what I am feeling. I have tried various anti depressants but find none of them do anything for me except stop me crying. I feel the sadness but can't cry when I'm on anti depressants, is that familiar with anyone else. I agree walking is a good form of excercise and try and walk for atleast 20 mins every day. I used to walk for longer but don't enjoy long walks alone. I'm in a beautiful part of the UK, near the coast so am lucky there are some lovely walks to go on but whatever I do is blurred by this feeling in the pit of my stomach just a strong feeling of sadness and a feeling that life used to be so much better. I have lost lots of friends and my mum is very ill with alzheimers, its harder to make new friends as you get older I find. you can fool people with a mask that you are okay but underneath its a very different matter. Old friends get tired of hearing that I'm still depressed and haven't got anything good to say so hear from lots of them less and less. I told a friend that I find reading really difficult and she told me to force myself to read for half an hour. Not the kind of advice that is very helpful but I think she gets frustrated with me. I just can't see myself getting over this as I think for me isolation is a big part of the problem and I can't change that. I try and live one day at a time, that is all I can do but it doesn't make me feel very secure, its nice to feel that your life is going somewhere. I've given up on finding love and having a family and even employment seems almost impossible to achieve, what can I live for really? There is little to give me much self esteem if any. Anyway thanks for your help and I will keep on posting. Tasha
Posted 11/25/2010 11:41 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

I know how you are feeling.  Completely hopeless.  But sweetie, it does get better.  Just not always in our timeframe.  But for some reason, you will learn from your dispair.  There is a reason for everything, even though we can't see it at the time.  Everything is a learning experience. 

There is a site that I was told about awhile back called www.livinglifetothefull.com

I can't remember all it entailed, but it seems that it was a good site.  It might help you.  There is also

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome  I believe that you may find this helpful too. 

There is a good book called Feeling Good by Dr.David Burns.  That could be something that you may find helpful to read.  Generally I advise counseling too.  I find that it is very helpful and keeps me in check with my life.  It really makes me think about things and the meaning of things.  If you aren't going already, I strongly advise it.  There is a life out there for you.  You are at a standstill it seems.  You feel you should be moving forward.  I myself do take life one day at a time, but I have fibromyalgia and that is all I can do.  I can't even make plans for the next day as I never know how I am going to feel.  But I am laid back, I let life come to me.  I guess we are all different and want different things out of life. 

Have you thought about taking a class of some sort?  It would get you out and you would be doing something that you enjoy and meeting new people.  Just a thought. 

You will find on here too that you can make friends.  I have.  And it is fun.  It gives a person something to look forward to each day.  Giving and receiving emails.  Life is full of mysteries.  So never give up.  Things can change at the drop of a hat.  For the better even.

Best wishes to you.  I hope that you had a happy holiday today.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 11/27/2010 3:49 AM (GMT 0)
catnat, sending compassionate and healing prayers your way. jamie.
Posted 11/27/2010 4:05 AM (GMT 0)
Catnat,

I have been exactly where you are...and more than a few times. The advice to try taking things as they come and one day at a time is the best. I've had to modify that for myself to taking things one moment at a time and it has really helped. I cannot make plans as I never know what I can handle from one day to the next.

But I have taught myself to watch every moment for the tiny magnificent wonders all around us. I started taking a cheap camera on walks and now have developed true enjoyment from close up photography. It makes me realize that life continues and is in a state of dynamic change - moment to moment. I use a very simple little camera (simple is great for my usual state of mind!) and it allows me to just disappear into the moment.

Just remember that you are NOT alone. Try to take what pleasure you can from the simplest things. Watch the clouds, warm by the sun, hear the birdsong and smell the breeze.

'Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift. That's why it's called the Present'

Brian
Posted 11/27/2010 6:00 AM (GMT 0)
i know how you are feeling. i am 32 and just in process of being diagnosed as an ADD. its hard to cope at 32 being diagnosed at what i thought was a kid disease. i am feeling hopeless myself so if you need me i am here.
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