So I am a student, first year, at a university. Only 18. I suffer from severe anxiety because my ex wanted to kill me and stalked me for 3 years leaving murder notes on my car, slashing my tires, sending me books written in his own blood telling me how much he loved me. He told me for every text left unanswered he would make a cut. On top of that I have a really low self-esteem and trust issues from being raped when I was 4 years old for about
2 years while my sister watched. Now I can't concentrate anymore on school, I am unable to focus and I feel empty. Recently I was caught for shoplifting to add to the drama in life and now my boyfriend (er, ex?) is moving out of our apartment. I will have to live alone in a huge city even though I'm a country girl. Sort of the end of my world kinda thing, but obviously that didn't work out- I'm still here! Its that time of year again.... Now I keep having bad thoughts and after all the money I put into school I haven't gone to class in 3 weeks and am afraid to go back. I feel like a disappointment, shameful of myself. I'm embarrassed to go back. I feel like a failure. I gave up, caved into the stress and started hiding in my bed again. Where nobody can hear me cry.
So now I'm in this hole, knee deep. How do I start to climb out?
I am sorry for the edit, but we are not to discuss suicide or self harm. I hope that you do get counseling and get your life back on track. Hugs, Karen...
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/4/2010 8:27:09 AM (GMT-7)