School and Boys

I went to the college campus today for a meeting with the professors from the Master's program I left last semester, and they said I could come back next semester. I'm not finding jobs, and my plan to move somewhere else never went anywhere, so I think I want to do it. This is not to say that I'm not interested in the program otherwise, because I totally am. I thought about it and I finally admitted to myself that I quit because it was hard. Which is stupid. I should be challenging myself and life is going to be scary and difficult and I have to just grow up and deal with it. So I'm going back. And I'm excited! I figured I couldn't move across the country with no job and nowhere to live. I would be just as depressed and my problems would follow me there. They'd probably get bigger too. Anyway, moving so far away with nothing there would be dumb, right? This is where the "help, I need advice" part kicks in: the guy I've been crushing on who lives in aforementioned far-away city is the first guy I've really had a crush on in a long time - let's call him "Joe" - and definitely since my boyfriend (the only one I've ever had - a two year relationship). What is wrong with me?! I called "Joe" just now to tell him about school, and he got all sad that I'm not moving to far-away city. He was like "I have to change my expectations now" or something, and seemed really sad. I couldn't convince myself that moving to far-away city wasn't a more attractive (no pun intended) option because he was there, which really scared me. I feel like I would always want to move somewhere back here (read: East coast). What is wrong with me?! I need someone to just slap me, please...

Sorry. I'm feeling really confused, too! I have a crush who lives 2,800 miles away. For the past few months, I haven't been in school and I've been looking for jobs in the city that he lives in, because it's where my mom's family lives. We've talked a lot on the phone, and he was under the impression that I would be moving to the city he lives in in January. I decided instead to enroll in a year-long Master's program in the city I grew up in. I'm just sad because I have a huge crush on him. I just figured I couldn't move to a city just because he lived there, without a job or a place to stay. That would be weird. How do I get over a crush?! He hasn't returned my e-mails/phone calls since I told him I wouldn't be moving to his city, and it's making me really depressed. I want to move there and be with him, but it would be stupid at this point in my life, right? Aaagh!

You are thinking in a practical mode, which is good. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Maybe it is just taking time for him to adjust to the fact that you wont be moving to the city that he lives in, but these things can work out for the best. You are thinking good. You are making a good carreer move and that is what is most important right now. You got your whole life ahead of you. You will be sad for a while, but once you make the move and start in on your life, things will fall into place for you. Good thinking. Smart move on your part.

Have a wonderful day.

My occular migraine passed. It can be frustrating. I see patterns in my eyes of flashing colored lights. I can still see, but they are in my way. Luckily, I don't get the headache often.

Hugs, Karen