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lonely and confusing christmas

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Posted 12/27/2010 9:59 AM (GMT 0)
hi.

i was wondering if i can have any help? i've had a severely rough childhood and not long ago my parents divorced and it shakes me up really bad. this christmas has been the worst because i dont feel like i have a family anymore and i actually spent the christmas with a friend of mine who is really close to me because i couldnt cope with the build up of the divorce and that of my past. the other night i cried into my friends arms. i'm really struggling right now. can anyone please help me?

lots of hugs, arielle, 16.
Posted 12/27/2010 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry you are having a rough time right now. THe holidays seem to dig up the best or worst feelings wihtin us. Its perfectly normal to feel lost and confused about family after going through a divorce. Its nice that you have such a good friend to support you through this. Maybe you should have a conversation about this with your parents and tell them how much their divorce is effecting you. Its not going to bring everything back together but hopefully they will start realizing how this effects you and start helping you thyough it.
Posted 12/27/2010 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
hi geosojda

they wont understand even if i tried. i've got lots of mates to keep me hanging in there, especially my friend i spent christmas with and a couple other close friends too. it just gets so hard sometimes and the parents dont seem to realise that im doing my last year at school so its a lot of pressure to go through but i'm battling along with help of my grandma too. i love her lots and lots.

thank you so much for replying. bless you.

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/27/2010 4:12 PM (GMT 0)
well i'm glad you have a support system that you trust around you, it makes a HUGE difference. Does you school have a counselor or anyone that you can talk with? I think it helps to have someone sort of guide you along your feelings so you can figure them out. Keep it up! Make everyday better than the last
Posted 12/27/2010 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
hi geosojda,

Its a bit awkward actually because I made up a school counsel club or kids my age with problems similar to this forum and I lead it, plus I dont really like counsellors or doctors so I tend not to go. I've counsellors in the past. They talk crap to me as if everything will be ok in seconds. I've had drug addiction before and the counsellors thought they sorted me out but in fact it had been my grandma that helped. She put me in hospital for a bit, the parents went wild and grandma put me up for a bit before they calmed down; dad's an alcoholic, mum's a manic depressive. so grandma and my mates have always been there to support me. I just wished my parents would for a change. I've been neglected all my life so I dont think anything will change now. I'm hoping that I can post here sometimes and reply to people's posts loads. Its really cheering me up at the moment :-) I've never seen a forum like this before. It feels friendly. I really really like it.

lots of hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/27/2010 5:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi whitebutterfly,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am glad that you have joined us.

I did notice in your signature, you have bipolar listed. We have a wonderful bipolar forum if you would like to check that out.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/27/2010 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen.

Thank you. I'm so glad I joined. It seems really friendly here. I dont really talk about my bipolar disorder much, or any of it really but I will check it out anyway. Is it ok if I can reply a lot or is there a limit that you can reply to other threads? I run a child counselling group at school so I thought it would be mega if I could just hang out here and help out like the rest.

I feel a lot better now. I dont know what to think of my parents anymore. I might go to college and live with my grandma and get EMA and save up for university. My grandma lives on a farm so I've lived with animals all my life and I have a horse called Skye so I want to maybe be a Vet; I'm predicted A*s so I think I can do it or another area, Law, Politics or Fashion design. :-) I'm not sure yet.

Thank you for the warm welcome. I am so grateful.

lots of warm hugs, Arielle.
Posted 12/27/2010 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
You can post how ever much you want. There is no limit. Know that you are so welcomed here. We can always use somebody helpful.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/27/2010 6:38 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, Karen. I dont know what to say. I feel lucky to have found this website. Thank you for letting me help out. It be different and a good challenge because you're all adults. I struggle to trust adults a bit but I'll try my very best :D It'll be good though and I wont feel as neglected will I?

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/27/2010 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Arielle,

A warm welcome to HealingWell.  We have a fair amount of young people in the forums with many issues.  Please take the time to read through some of our members threads and you will find you are not alone with your issues.

A young member by the name of shuvvykins went through a lot and you may find some help reading her posts. CarrieAnnB was another member who was in her teens with problems. _Christina is a thread from a Mother whose 12 year old daughter has depression. 

Depression is a very serious matter, which does not discriminate. Depression doe not care what your age is, what gender you are, or even what your race or social class is.

You have come to a wonderful forum to talk to others that will understand you problems and advise you well.

Again welcome,

Kitt



Posted 12/27/2010 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitt,

Thats wonderful. I thought maybe the forum was more for adults. I'm not the only teen then? Do the other three post often? Are Shuvvykins and CarrieannB similar to my age? They sound groovy :o)

I know lots about depression. I've seen loads of it at my school but I like dealing with other people and I'm not too bad helping myself out but I do get episodes of loss of reality and I just lose it totally. I've been in hospital often so I know how that feels but I'm ok, just my parents that's all.

Thank you for making me feel welcome. I love it on here. I dont feel neglected and it makes me feel valued.

lots of hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/27/2010 8:24 PM (GMT 0)
Good Afternoon,

HealingWell is for teens (13 and up) and adults. The teens all post a bit different. A couple more teens that come  to mind are dontchawishuknew and CrimsonSoldier.

You can use the search feature to read thier threads. 

I have found the support, validation and encouragement that I receive here, to be so helpful and healing. I hope and trust that will be your experience as a member of the HW family.

Kindly,

Kitt



Posted 12/27/2010 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
hi kitt,

Family? Thats a strong word to use but that makes me smile so much. I feel my family (the parents) have disowned me. It hurts but I know I'll be ok here. You guys seem awesome. I feel touched.

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/28/2010 3:49 PM (GMT 0)
Just an update, going to see Fred the movie soon with my mate at the cinema. I cant wait :-) Found out today the parents are wanting me back but I'm not going back to them until they calm down and stop acting so pathetic towards me.

Hope everyone is having a nice day today. Many happy wishes to you all :-)

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/29/2010 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the update, i'm glad you are getting out and having some fun. Hope you have a great new years!
Posted 12/29/2010 2:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks geo. :-) I just hate seeing my parents the way they are, the way they treat me. It hurts so much. Its why I turned to grandma and my mates because they give me all the respect, value, fun and love I need. And now I have turned to you guys too. It feels so nice to be valued and loved.

Thank you. It will be a great new year. We're going to celebrate it in the good old Scottish style, in kilts and scottish dresses/shawls and having a blast with the booze, Scottish dancing and traditional songs. You have a good one too :-D

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/29/2010 3:11 PM (GMT 0)
Arielle,

You must quit talking about booze and beer, you are only 17. I know that you like to have fun, and that the drinking age is probably different there, but it is 21 here. So please do me a favor and don't mention it anymore. Drinking causes depression and many of us here are fighting with that as I speak. Thank you.

Karen
Posted 12/29/2010 3:37 PM (GMT 0)
Karen,

Oh, I'm sorry. I wont talk about it anymore. I'm 16. I dont drink much anyway, its just a Scottish tradition that we do in the new year. Again I am awfully sorry. I feel really bad now. The age limit here is 16, but 18 in pubs and supermarkets. I hope I haven't offended you. You sound angry.

many hugs, arielle.
Posted 12/29/2010 4:31 PM (GMT 0)
Not angry, it is just that many of us struggle from the results of alcohol depressing us more. It is a depressant. And reading about a young adult drinking (16) isn't good. It stirs up a lot of emotions. As it has in the past. So thank you for not mentioning it any further.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/29/2010 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi karen,

Just know that I would never stir situations up, especially if it will affect other people. My parents do that to me so I wouldn't want to place that strain on anyone else. It wouldn't be fair. Again many apologies. I understand your request really really well and I'm truly sorry for if I caused any problems. It isnt my intention to.

many happy hugs, arielle.
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