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I don't know what to do anymore..

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Posted 3/2/2011 6:10 AM (GMT 0)
I'm new here so I guess I'll start with an introductory tidbit. My name is Austin, I'll be 20 in a weeks time & I've had depression for 12 years.
It's just been diagnosed but the doctor says I've had it as long as I've had my chronic joint pain. [12 years]



Life is just getting harder for me.. I have no motivation to live, I have no hopes, no dreams, nothing. The best way I have to describe it is that I have no will to make a future for myself, like I just want to fade & turn to dust. No matter how hard I work to turn things around for myself I always end up back here where I am now.

I'm 20 next week & I'm still at a ninth grade level.. The saddest part about that is when I went to high school the first time, I had the potential to graduate two years early.. I had the highest grades in the school for two weeks then after that I didn't touch another worksheet for almost four years..

I'm in a program for dropouts now which I already could have graduated from in just four months, but, there's just no real desire left in me to put forth the effort.. I have a therapy appointment next month but who knows where I'll be by then.. What should I do?
Posted 3/2/2011 8:21 AM (GMT 0)
It sounds like you're dealing with a very bad case of major depression :( I know how it is...I dropped out of school and had trouble attending all through high school before that...and my motivation to get up everyday is low at this point..It's good that you're going to see a therapist, you need someone to tlak to as soon as possible. Medication might help you, if you're interested in going that route, or just talking out your issues could be a big burden off your chest. I hope you feel better <3
Posted 3/2/2011 8:35 AM (GMT 0)

with help it does get better. here for you.

therapy and medication is helping me, geez, still struggle though, but we keep fightin' that good fight. stay strong. with compassion, jamie

Posted 3/2/2011 8:49 AM (GMT 0)
I have mild depression, but many other illnesses. Pain is awful and the pain of depression is the hopelessness of never getting well. I have several problems from the gulf war and i was raped and molested as a child ( ah ha) so i have somewhat of an etiology of where my depression starts from. I am 40. about 20 years ago I not only met my husband before i remembered the childhood molestation and had the gulf war stuff. (just the rape) any how..

Do not be afraid to seek counseling. Do not be hard on yourself when you have bad days. Just get up the next dust off and start again. It took me several therapist to help me through a lot. I learned a lot of tools biofeedback, breathing techniques, but i needed more and i prayed and the right Word of God that was right for me... found me.

I still have rotten days. but they are farther apart. but i have joy in the simple things, and i no longer find that i analyze the evil that drags me down. I am new to healing well. a friend told me about it two years ago, i am just now on ... my biggest problem is SLE (lupus) chronic pain ..the list continues.

for both of you who wrote. My thoughts are with you, sorry i wrote so much, May you have a bit more joy than sorrow, more strength than weakness, more courage than fear. With affection.

I am sorry but I had to edit your post as we are not allowed to dicuss religion on this forum.  Thank you for understanding.  Karen...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/2/2011 7:06:08 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/2/2011 9:07 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Hybridmoments, but I went to a counselor to see if I had depression & she told me that she wouldn't classify it as major depression because I had no suicidal thoughts. I've also been given Zoloft but I haven't been taking it. I seem to have no will to really get better..

Thanks Jamie.

Panther Fern, thanks to you as well.
Posted 3/3/2011 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Austin, See if you can find a different therapist. I have been dealing with self-image problems and clinical depression for a very long time (decades). I go through cycles but I have only been "" once ( a long time ago). Keep trying til. you find someone who can help you keep from getting that far.
Also,keep trying on that education.
Find something you like to do,then do it as often as is reasonable . That sounds simplified, but in my life, it works

Just don't give up.,

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/3/2011 1:45:22 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 3/4/2011 6:21 AM (GMT 0)
I guess I'll keep trying.. don't know why though..

Drama Mama, there's nothing I like to do.. I hate every little thing about life & about everything in it.. The only way I spend my time that holds any worth to me is sleep.. That's only because I know I have less time on earth when I wake up.
Posted 3/4/2011 6:24 AM (GMT 0)
it does improve. keep being strong. with healing compassion, jamie
Posted 3/4/2011 8:27 AM (GMT 0)
I guess I have no choice but to try to better it...
Posted 3/4/2011 8:38 AM (GMT 0)
1 DAY AT A TIME MY FRIEND. HERE FOR YOU, JAMIE.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS 4 U)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Posted 3/4/2011 10:06 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah.. Thanks..
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