new to forum

i am new to this. doc has me on sertraline and i have had 2 sessions with psychologist but it just doesnt seem to be enough lately. i have been single for almost ten years and thru facebook met up with a former high school classmate. we started hanging out over a month ago and things were going well. she asked me if we should date a little over a week ago but i told her i wasnt sure, lets take it slow. after spending more time with her i realized yeah what am i doing. i told her i thought it was a great idea to date and she told me she didnt want to ruin our friendship. now we dont talk, text or hang out. back to being all alone and it sucks bad. constantly screwing up every good thing in my life including my relationship with my daughter even when i do things with the best intentions. i am tired of this and dont know how much more i can take!

I have only been on sertraline for a month. I have never been on anything other than antibiotics my whole life. The side effects were rough for 2 weeks but have really eased up. I forgot to take my dose in the morning yesterday as normal but took it as soon as I could, about 12hrs later. I'm not sure if this contributed to my mood but maybe. I have only had 2 sessions with my psychologist and am trying to see him once weekly depending on openings and my work schedule. Yesterday was the first session with him going through a history starting with my family and it brought back some bad memories and emotions that continued long after my session with him. Paert of the reason for the history is to identify reasons for why I am an alcoholic(I'm in recovery with 7 months sober next Wednesday), why I have isolated myself and been alone for so long including what is going on in this current relationship, and my overall perception of myself. I am feeling better today and writing down some things that went through my mind last night to take to my next session as things to focus on and deal with. I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with my friend but when I date someone I would like to be close friends with that person. I won't date someone I don't or can't have a friendship with. It does seem in the past I get this "I don't want to ruin our friendship" or "I just want to be friends" line and that is where it stays. I treat women with courtesy and respect and always hear from them why can't I find a good man and then I start seeing them and I get these lines. I feel more and more all the time that I will continue to be single and alone til I die and I dont like that idea.

me too. jamie