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Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

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Posted 3/7/2011 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
Well Here I am stuck in this dark tunnel and wondering if there is light out there. All my life all I have ever known is hurt from being physically abused,to sexual abuse,to mental abuse. As a result of all this I have become an alcoholic and it is getting harder and harder to get out of bed. Whats the point right when all that is out there is hurt?. Better to stay underneath the covers at least then you won't get hurt at least that's what I keep telling myself but really I don't want to be living this way. I push away my loved ones cause all I can think is eventually they will hurt me. I want to be happy but when all you have ever known is hurt is scary as hell to be happy and the funny thing is the one thing I want to get away from is hurt but I seem to keep it going cause if I let it go then who will I be? its been who I am for so long.
Posted 3/7/2011 4:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mousa123,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum.

By the sound of it, you have to peel away layers and learn to trust. Maybe you should have a different choice of friends to find somebody that is trustworthy, or is it mostly family that you can't trust?

Drinking makes us more depressed. So that might be something that you should work on. It isn't easy, but it can be done. I would get in touch with a counselor to get the ball rolling. You have a lot of work by the sound of it, but know that you can be healthy and happy.

We are here for the duration, so know that you can always come to this site to get support. I wish you the best. Keep trying, you have taken a huge step just by posting here. It is the first step of your healing journey. Keep posting, let us know how you are doing. Take care...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/8/2011 2:43 AM (GMT 0)
I AM IN THERAPY, HELPS A LOT. YES BIG STEP COMING ON BOARD, WELL DONE, KEEP BEING BRAVE AND SEEK SOME ASSISTANCE. WITH COMPASSION, JAMIE
Posted 3/9/2011 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
thank you karen and jamiee for your reply. Yes I have to peel away a lot of layers and it is very hard for me to trust people but Last week I did start counseling and I went to my first AA meeting last night. I did not talk or participate just listened to every one but at least i went I guess thats the first step right? well admitting you have a problem is the first step and I've done that and I do plan to go to another meeting. My friends are great they never really did any thing to hurt me. My trust issues are with family and men. So I've decided to give up men for a while I need to concentrate on myself and as far as family I'm not so sure what to do with that cause no matter what they are my family and I love them. I've also started wellburtin for depression. I have a long road a head of me but I know I can do it.
Posted 3/9/2011 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
I have to say that I am really proud of your recent progress. I am very happy for you. This is your healing journey and I feel that you are going to make it. Keep trying and keep your chin up. You are doing wonderful. Thanks for sharing with us.

Hugs, Karen
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