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im lonely and feel like im losing touch with reality

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Posted 3/18/2011 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
me and my boyfriend recently broke up and there were no hard feelings. it was a great break up in fact, because we have been best friends for so many years (5 to be exact) we only dated for 2 years, but its still hard to let go of him. neither of us have really had any sexual attraction to one another for a few months and i feel like i did the right thing. so does he. but since that night, i feel like i have been slowly going insane. we have hung out a few times and its not really awkward or anything and we have no problem with it. its just the fact that we both know we cant hang out as much as we used to. i feel alone. he has a ton of friends that are willing to help him and i only have a few people and they dont really want to talk to me about my problems. ive been suffering with depression for a while now and i am on medication. ive stopped terrible habits, both physical and emotional, and im really scared because after so many years of being happy, its suddenly all disappeared. i dont eat anymore, and i dont take care of myself because i feel like it doesnt matter cuz no one cares about me but my ex boyfriend. i feel so alone that im resorting to talking on a forum that i have never heard of before cuz no one seems to care and this is my last hope it seems like. im really nervous posting this so i hope that everyone will understand. i dont normally talk about my problems cuz i dont feel like they are worth anyones time, but i really would appreciate any sort of help :'( please. i cant do this alone anymore.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/18/2011 3:15:25 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/18/2011 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitty,

Welcome to the HealingWell Depression forum. I am so glad that you have found us.

We aren't allowed to discuss self harm, but we can be here for you in other ways.

First of all, you are worth the time. But friends can't be objective. They tend to only say what you want to hear and you need somebody that can be honest with you in all aspects. I would recommend going to counseling and keep your mental health side and your friends seperate. When you go out, just have a good time and enjoy eachothers company. You can always come here now to vent or just talk. This is a wonderful forum and there are many compassionate and caring people here.

Know that even if you are alone, you can be happy. Maybe you need some work on your self esteem to help you to realize that you are a good person with many good qualities and that you are your own best friend. Learn to love yourself the way that you should. Gradually get back in the routine of things such as bathing and grooming. That is usually the first things to go when you get depressed. But that is because you aren't caring about yourself right now. I think when we are depressed we go off into another world where we don't think of the simple things that can help us to feel better.

Are there places that you could go to make new friends? Or is that even an issue? Places such as coffee shops, libraries or sports events are good to go to if you want to meet people. I find I meet friendly people in the strangest places. And that the people that I least expect to be friends become friends. I have made friends on the forum too. We have never met but we email eachother frequently. I keep contact with them more than my other friends, but that is just me. I am a hermit in the winter so I don't see anybody unless it is in passing. But I am happy with that for the moment, so I try not to worry about it.

I really hope that you can find happiness and contentment. Do keep posting. The weekends can be slow around here but things pick up during the week.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/19/2011 7:38 AM (GMT 0)
this is a turning point of change in your life i feel. things will and do pick up. beleive in you, for you are a precious human being of this earth with gifts and talents unique to only you. hang in there, we care, you have been brave in posting, keep being brave. with healing compassion to you kitty. i see karen has given you some wonderful wisdom. be true, be you and love you.

jamie
Posted 3/20/2011 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
thank you guys. i actually went over to one of my good friends house the other night and we had a long talk about all of this...and i feel like it is just what i needed. she listened to everything i had to say and gave me good advice but didnt shove it in my face

i really appreciate all of your guys support...its nice to know people that you dont even know or havent met before understand what you are going through and can still feel compassion towards a total stranger. i am feeling much better than i was when i posted and it has only been a few days.

is there anything that you guys would suggest to help me heal completely?
ive talked to my ex boyfriend and we both are cool with being just friends and we have hung out since my last post and nothing was weird and there were no romantic feelings. i just want to make sure that i can hold onto this feeling in my life right now. everything just feels more in control than it did when i orginally posted and i just want to make sure i do all i can do to keep this comfort in my life.
any suggestions?

p.s...
your advice is awesome and i really appreciate the "open arms" you guys provided for me :)
Posted 3/20/2011 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Kitty,

Working on self esteem to make ourselves stronger is good. Maybe get some self help books. Also walking helps us clear our heads and feel better. Self nurturing helps when things are difficult, though it is often the last thing we end up doing. When we are depressed it is hard to feel good about ourselves. Though that is what we need to be able to do.

Eating properly helps. Avoiding caffiene and alcohol is good too. I am so happy that you spent time with your friend and had such a good talk. Keep in touch with this person, as they seem very comforting and understanding for you. I really hope that you continue to feel better. Sometimes all we need is some time out.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 3/20/2011 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
KEEP STRONG KITTY. DOIN' WELL. JAMIE
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