Hi all I've been here before but a long time ago. Decided to come back because it's been hard not really having anyone to talk to. I've been debating on posting not really knowing if it will help. I feel like I'm in a weird space in my life lately. (ha thats why the screen name) I feel like I need a change of scenery, realizing where I'm living is just getting old. Not feeling happy about my surroundings. Trying to find a job but with no luck and I'm not really focused on it like I should be. My sister has cancer and it's terminal. Haven't really ever had a good relationship with her until about a month ago. We are the best we have ever been. It's hard because she acts like nothing is serious but I just try to spend as much time with her as I can. At first she had cancer in her lungs, got some of it removed and just really didn't address it after that. Then they found it in her stomach and wanted it removed right away but she failed to do anything and now it's in her liver. She doesn't believe in conventional medicine so even if they offered chemo I know she wouldn't of done it. There is nathuropathic sp? but most are not covered by insurance and it's too expensive. I don't care about all of that now but I worry for her kids and don't understand that if they are her world why did she let it get so bad? My mom has tried to tell her that she needs to focus on getting something in writing about the kids and what she would want for them after she goes and also a medical power of attorney, she agrees but it seems furthest from her mind. She also has severe bipolar with rapid cycling for years (thats why we never had relationship.) And of course shes been unmedicated and refuses to do so.
Anyway, I know my sis is a big issue but I feel like suddenly everything else is bothering me and I just feel kind of lost right now. I feel kind of stuck between a here and there, not really knowing what to think, what to do or how to feel. I just needed to put it somewhere......