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I dont know what to do anymore

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Posted 7/15/2011 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
He ended up not coming home till 3:30 am. I told him that we needed to have a serious talk today about what needed to happen because I'm at the end of the stick. I feel hurt and betrayed because I called him several tomes. He has agreed to go out with friends but not stay out that late. I told him we need to compromise. I'm letting him go out soj he can come home when I want him to. And he agreed to that. Let's just see how long it lasts for. He also said that he doesn't feel like we are excited to see either other anymore and feels like going out and doing our own thing will make us closer. Do u feel like that could be true because I don't know what to think about it. But I'm willing to try. I don't wanna break up but I need advice on how not to get mad if he goes out. Or is out sometimes without me. He also agreed that we don't go out together and said he's gonna invite me more. So hopefully this works.
Posted 7/15/2011 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
I am glad that you two had a talk. I think it would be good for you to get out with the girls while he is out with the guys. You have to get yourself to trust him, and tell yourself that you don't care when he goes out. Practice makes perfect. I am glad that he is going to invite you more to go with him. Maybe that will be fun for you.

I am concerned about his staying out until 3:30 am. Do you think he might have a drinking problem? Does he do this a lot? How often a week does he go out drinking?

I hope that you two can work this out. I hope that you can go with him and have some fun.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/15/2011 1:34 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think he has a problem but idk. When he goes out it maybe a few days a week depending on who's out and when he has to work. He only has a few if he's home on like a Friday night. I told him I don't always want to go but I'd like to at least be invited. Now that Im trying to let him go out we will see how much he does go out a week. I think we will have to start there.
Posted 7/15/2011 1:47 PM (GMT 0)
I think you are doing good with this situation. You are giving him the benefit of a doubt, and trying to trust him. This will work out for you whichever is for the best. It might not always be in the right time frame, but hang in there. You are doing good.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/16/2011 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
I'm trying my hardest but when i told him I was still trying to get through feelings and not freak out he me that I need to "chill out" and that bothers me. How do I get him to be more understanding because I feel like I'm putting up with it to make him happy? How to I make him realize I'm doing everything I can to get trough it and how much I'm doing for him because I don't think he quite gets that....talks have been better lately but I'm still not 100% happy with it right now and I know it's gonna take time. How do I make him see that?
Posted 7/16/2011 2:17 PM (GMT 0)
There isn't really any way you can get him to see your side of things other than talking to him. Maybe you do need to chill out a little if you can. Biut that is often hard to do. Start focussing on your own things. Do you have any hobbies? Couples can't be together 24/7. He must feel he needs time to unwind after work and that is probably why he goes to the bar and such. But you need to find things to do other than to be sitting and waiting for him. It is all up to what you are going to tolerate. If it is too much, maybe you should recosider this relationship and find somebody who is more like yourself. Somebody that you can trust. I put up with that for many years but it was my choice. Maybe you aren't like that and can't tolerate the things he does. I don't know. But in actuallity the ball is in your court and you need to make some decisions. I know it is hard, but either you put up with him or you don't.

I hope that things work out for ytou and your boyfriend. I know that you have a lot of unanswered questions, but sometimes they never get an answer. Best wishes to you...

Hugs, Karen
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