Depression and relationship

I am really looking for some answers. I have been with my boyfriend for ten years. We have been happy in the past I thought but recently my boyfriend has been showing signs of depression ( withdrawn, not sleeping, not eating, won't talk to anyone) and has told me he has be sad for awhile. I understand why he has been so depressed considering I have been supporting him for about 2 years while he finished university and looked for a job. Unfortunately he has been unable to find a job and told me he feels like a failure. I have been distant from him for about a year resentful that we are not moving forward in our relationship and that I have had to carry most of the finical burden, I have expressed this to him (which I don't know of it helped his depression). He is getting help with his depression now just started today. I am happy that he is getting help but now I have questions he cannot answer. A couple days ago I begged him to tell me how he felt he told me he loved me but did not know if he was still in love with me. I suggest that we take a break and that he should leave until he figures out what he wants. He broke down started to cry uncontrollably and began to get angry ( this lead me to let him stay, I didn't know what else to do). My question is was him saying that he didn't know of he was in love with me the depression talking considering the reaction he had to me suggesting a break or is he just wanting to stay so he won't have to move back home? I ask him if he knows if he wants to be with me and he can't give me an answer just gets angry and distant. I don't want to be with someone who is using me for a place to stay but I don't want to loose the person I still love because his depression is talking for him. He is not the same person he was a couple of months ago.

I know this is long but I am truly lost any advice will help

Thank you

i agree to give him a chance to work through his emotions as well. jamie.

with healing compassion 2 you both.

i am a new member and dont have perfect spell please excuse that, but i was reading along on this and i to have been in this position. if he is taking meds for his treatment. i was on them awail ago anthat is d they do make you act realy strange. when i ws on them i would get realy emontional about nothing. like for exp, i was on the phone with my lil sis and the call was d/c so i started to cry not like a tear fell from my eye omg i lost a call with my sis it was like balling on the floor wail tos of guys were around me asking ***? all cause of a lost call.... like wow i couldnt call them back or something realy couldnt but besides the point. the meds took about 2 weeks to kick in and a week of idk whats going on emontionaly. so if its the questioning or emotions i would say give him a chance. by about 4-5 weeks he should be more understandalbe depression isnt a fire it wont be put out by just water, only time will help

What wonderful advice, folks, your suggestions are just what she
needs to apply, in my view. Space and time--it does heal so much.

I.G.

This sounds a little to close to home........ i am currently staying with a friend due to my husband losing himself in his unseen behaviour..... he shows signs of depression, frustration etc that is usually at himself but it comes out at others...... Its been hard watching hime wage war on himself and Hopefully he'll be able to see what I can before its too late....

The fact that your bf is seeking help is a good sign. Be supportive of him and see where it goes..... its hard with depression, theres fine lines in behaviours.....

I am glad that you care enough to confront, KUDOS!!!!!

Hang in there!!!!

Find your own things to do. Go on with your life. He will catch up soon enough. I hope he feels better soon and you too.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen