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Loneliness is making me feel sick

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Posted 8/26/2011 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
I am so lonely I am actually feeling sick in my stomach. Almost like someone has punched me. I don't know how to handle my extreme loneliness and I am afraid I will become very ill. I have heard of people suffering such loneliness who don't survive long because of how they feel. I try so hard to make plans with friends but I don't have more than 3 or 4 friends I can actually do things with. And they are often very busy and don't have time to go out. I used to go to the book store and that was my one big outlet for getting out of the house and feeling i am among people and not so alone. But the Borders has closed and I don't have another big bookstore I can go to where I can browse for a long time and find a seat to sit and read. I do volunteer and I have signed up for classes starting in Sept. Also I signed up to learn to play mah jonng so I am hoping that will help me. I just need a few new friends who I can go out with or call at night when I am the loneliest. This feeling is consuming me and I don't know how to handle it. I won't be seeing my therapist until Sept. 16. How do I get beyond these terrible feelings. I am so alone and I find myself crying all the time. I have only lived alone for the past year and I just can't get used to it. Any advice would be appreciated. Also I lost my dog of 16 yrs a few months ago but I am just not prepared to get another dog if at all.

Aurora

Posted 8/26/2011 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
Aww Aurora,

I am so sorry that you are feeling so lonely, if only you can hang in there until September. We are here for you.

What is mah jong? I am curious. I wanted to learn thai chi, I try. But don't know if I am doing it right.

Keep posting Aurora, we will keep you company until September rolls around and then you will probably be so busy you wont have time for anything else.

I lost my dog of 15 years in May. The 31st. It was hard, so I know what you are going through. I still cry about it. That is a long time. And they love so unconditionally. And are so faithful.

LIke I said, keep posting. We will keep you busy.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/26/2011 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karen,

Thanks for your reply. I knew I couldn't stand to be in the house all day so I went out to the library and got a few DVDs and went to a small book store and got a new book, not too sure about it but I will give it a try.

I really don't know what is wrong with me. I have never felt loneliness like this before. I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't be in a hospital to get treatment but then I realize all I will miss that I am signed up for and might even miss our Thanksgiving trip. It is so hard for me not to have anyone to talk to on a regular basis.  It seems I am losing friends instead of making new ones which is hard to do at my age. I even go up to the clerks in the grocery and ask questions just to have a conversation with someone. I am dreading Labor Day weekend as I am not sure I can find someone to make plans with. This terrible feeling really just started this summer. It may be related somewhat to losing my dog. By the way I also lost mine on May 31. I love dogs but I don't think at this point I am capable of handling another dog. I will have to think hard on that one. Also it is expensive.

I Just want to have someone to talk to everyday so that this awful feeling in my stomach will go away. If you can stand to chat to me over the next week I think that could help me. Anyone else who wants someone to talk with I am here.

Mah jongg is a type of card came only it is played with tiles not cards. It is an old chinese game. I guess it is kind of difficult to learn at first but I am going to give it a try.

Anyone else with suggestions please reply.

Aurora

Posted 8/26/2011 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Well i said i am really not a people person but your post just jumped out at me. I was going to suggest using your library but we already thought alike on that idea. I dont have any reason to feel alone but i do sometimes. If you'd like to chat anytime let me know. Where are you from? Do you have family? What foods do you like?
mandy
Posted 8/26/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora: I'm sorry I haven't been posting the last 2 weeks or so. As you know from my last post I have been having a really tough time too. I understand and empathize about being alone. My girls were gone for 2 weeks and it was to the point where I could barely get out of bed. Also, when they leave on Friday to Saturday nights I have an incredibly hard time at first too.

I'm sorry about having only the three or four friends. I think I've got about 2. It's harder when we're single as everyone has families or a mate.
But what is great about Healing Well is we all have each other. And I am very thankful for that. You, Karen, Jamie and Monkiray are very special to me. Keep posting and I'll keep posting. I do have a wedding to go to tomorrow afternoon/evening but I'll be around all other times.

I live in Connecticut (the Northeast) and I'm not sure what to expect from the hurricane that's coming. Parts of New York were evacuated and weather reports say it will come through here and head towards Boston. I went food shopping today and bought lots of groceries because school also starts on Monday. But silly me, I bought a lot of frozen foods and I didn't think of it until it was too late. I'm hoping I don't lose power and lose the food too!

I had an emergency appointment with my therapist on Monday as I have been feeling so bad with the loneliness. She told me that there are always people at Barnes and Noble buying coffee's etc. and they stay there for hours to read. She thought that perhaps they were lonely too and that was how they dealt with it. She suggested I do the same.

I wish I had some magic answers to use for both of us. But I do understand and care.

((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

Cass
Posted 8/26/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mandy,

Thanks for answering me. It seems as the years go by that I am losing more friends for various reasons. I imagine I am a good bit older than you but I look at least 15 years younger and try to have a positive outlook on life. My family consists of only my two sons who are 37 and 32. I am from the Midwest. I grew up in a large family but they are all gone. I try to keep very busy during the day and I do go out everyday so as to stave off the loneliness that I know will come in the evening. I do volunteer work, take classes and my newest endevour is to learn to play mah jongg. My oldest son moved out a year ago so I am new to being an empty nester. I always had problems as a child feeling alone so this is not new. I see my sons every week but at their age they have their own lives and I don't want to bother them. All I am really looking for is to meet some new friends in my community and have people to talk to on the phone at night and to have someone to go out to a movie, walk, dinner. that type of thing. I think losing my dog made my situation worse. Anyway, that is what I can think of to tell you about. I would be glad to chat with you if you want to chat.

Aurora

Posted 8/26/2011 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Aurora. We literally just posted at the same time. I can see you are still on the forum and wanted to let you know that there was a message here. Look up above the entry you just wrote!

Cass turn
Posted 8/27/2011 12:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cass,

It was so good to hear from you. We did post at the same time. It is good to know I have such good friends on here like you. We seem to have a lot of things in common despite the age difference. I know how you must feel when your girls go away for the weekend. It's like you look around and can't quite figure out what to do or why you are standing there all alone.

I am glad you got in to see your therapist and I hope that it helped you.

I used to go to Borders to browse the books and sit and read for hours. But the Borders near me closed so i have lost that wonderful escape. I do have Barnes and Noble but it is in a big shopping mall and it is so crowded on weekends it is hard to even find a place to park. And since I do get panic attacks I try to stay away from the crowds. I am hoping my new classes will be a source for meeting people.

I would be glad to chat with you anytime if you are feeling lonely as I am the same way and if anyone understands your feelings I do.

I know you are bracing for the hurricane and I hope that you don't get hit too hard. We had several very bad storms this summer and lost power for days. I had to throw out so much food. There is only so long you can try to save something in a cooler.

I hope you have a very good time at the wedding. It always helps to get out and socialize and be among people. If you ever want to email just let me know and I will send you my email address.

Big hugs,

Aurora

Posted 8/27/2011 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
I would really enjoy chatting dont worry about the age difference you might be suprised as i often feel 15 years older. LOL Let me know how we would go about doing this i am not a computer person so you will have to advise.
Posted 8/27/2011 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mandy,

We can chat if you go into a chat room. At the top of the page is listed home, calendar, chat, search etc. What you would do is click on chat then the number 1 step is to click on select a chat room, then you enter your user name and your password and click login. That will bring up the chat room you have chosen. You will have to let me know when you want to go into chat so that I can go into the same chat room and then we can chat by IM. You will be able to see whatever I am writing and me you. Keep in mind sometimes others will enter the same chat room. If you specify a time by sending a reply here to this post then I can see it and go to chat. I hope this isn't too confusing. Send a reply and let me know what you want to do. i prefer to chat earlier in the evening than say now.

Aurora

Posted 8/27/2011 2:23 AM (GMT 0)
Hi guys,

I am just popping in to say good night. I am off to lala land. I hope you all enjoy chat. It can be a lot of fun.

Hope that you are feeling well Aurora. Glad you are finding people here to chat with.

Hugs, Karen
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