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I'm not sure I can hold on

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Posted 9/17/2011 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
I post in chronic pain and fibro, but my depression is sooo deep, I am incapable of moving.I do not leave house, I do not answer phone or door, I'm not paying bills on time, I am not eating or only large amounts of sugsr.

I have 15 yr old daughter and I'm mad at her existence cause now I can't. I take welbutrin, seroquel for dep, klonopin for PLMD, nothing for extreme PTSD, have jhad ECTs, oodles of epidural injections for my Degenerative Disc disease, bursitis, scoliosis and FibromyalgiA

i DON' CARE i DON'T CARE-MEDICAL SOCIETY HAS FAILED ME MISERABLY. i HAVE TRIED DEEP BREATHING, VISUALIZATION, MEDITATION, YOGA, BIOFEEDBACK, EXERCISE...nothing sorry did not mean to shout. Thanks for letting me vent.

Maggie

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 9/17/2011 6:19:24 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 9/18/2011 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Maggie,

I did have to take a couple of words out of your post as we aren't suppose to discuss suicide and it was sounding like that. We have another member who has teatment resistant depression. And it sounds like you could have that. She did have vns and that didn't work. But she is trying something new now. Her post is titled "quick note" and her name is Faithfully4u. You might want to read her post and pay attention to how it is helping her and what it is. She did say something about injections. I think that this is fairly new. It might be an option for you.

I wouls keep up the meditation, exersize and all the other things as much as possible. I walk a lot and that helps me physically and mentally. Don't give up. Keep trying. And know that we are here for you.

Take care Maggie.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/18/2011 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks y'all it helps just to know there is somebody out there listening...will check out that post and then I'll go hudle under my blanket again...I don't understand why God lets the suffering get so bad....I made it thru some severe disasters (KZtrina, deathof 2 bros and Dad, hubby w/ terminal cancer living ina FEEMA trailer-LOL) this is much worse....ok, well, ome foot in front of the other thanks

Maggie
Posted 9/18/2011 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Maggie, hope you feel better soon. I like the one foot in front of the other refference. Reminded me of the Xmas special that sang that song. I can see the shakey old winter warlock. That's me shaking and wobbling but still standing and so are you.
Posted 9/18/2011 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
Maggie,

You have been through a lot. I am so sorry. Sometimes we just get a lot thrown at us. It does make us stronger and builds character. But it sure isn't easy at the time. I lost my mom and grandmother, two sisters and an aunt in a period of a year and a half. Then my husband got terminal lung cancer in 2000. I have since married, but I hang on for dear life. Don't want anybody else taken from me. So I know how it seems continuous. But keep hanging in there, taking it one day at a time. Things will get better. And keep coming here for support.

I hope that your darkness fades soon and you start to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sounds cliche' doesn't it. I probably spelled that wrong anyway. But things will be better. Are you going to any counseling right now? Are you able to? If not, there are a couple of sites that are free on the internet that I can give you. If you are interested, let me know. I will post them anyway.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

I have heard good reports about moodgym.  Maybe it will give you something to focus on other than what you are dealing with right now.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen

Posted 9/18/2011 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
I see my counselor tues-she's good and I trust her. Do you everpretend youa re all right because you don't want to be a bother? And I'm scared that if I let it all out, I'll just die.

I've been reading about sometreatments....I think I'll start a new post for it. Thank you, thank you so much for your support.

Maggie
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