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Posted 9/25/2011 1:59 AM (GMT 0)
hallo, im Adam 17 this sept 30th, i finally thought it would be a good idea to start posting and looking around in this forum. I have quite a few problems but who doesn't everyone does. my depression is timed, by that i just mean i know when to expect it always, usually when it gets to me i just shut myself out from others. I've been trying to figure out what the cause might be, i did have a total collectomy - colon and a few other things removed due to UC - i do have anxiety problems but isnt as bad as it was a while ago. i was getting help for a little while but my therapist was transfered else where. "military therapist" and ever since i havent seen anyone for it. I brought it up to my parents that i need to get help again, they are scared to a degree. Since the surgeries they have been more concerned about me. umm ive tried to kill myself by over dosing on sleeping medication 3 times but i guess i have good luck "in a weird view" or missing alot of my system has something to do with it i dont know.

over last summer i had a total mental breakdown. we flew to las vegas ohh yay. no. was the worst time ive even had, due to the surgeries my life has been so much harder, i have to always be near a bathroom, i cant be me and do what i want in life, dreams of being a adventure photographer well thats over. military to follow my dads footsteps? no. engineering? possible.

but i have mental break downs "what i call it" and i just, stop. i dont do anything. my mind is just empty. emotionless. painless. i dont have them often but they do happen..

theres alot i could go on about. but i wont at the moment. live another day to tell another story.
Posted 9/25/2011 12:15 PM (GMT 0)
welcome adam

sorry for your troubles, alot to handle at any age, butespecially tees. I am sure there is some depression there and I think you should be a little more insistent w/ your parents about therapy.  This always helps, even if just a little. And this forum, you can talk to people that really understand and don't charge $100/hr-lol.

Some people shut down when they get depressed. I retreat completely forweeks on end-nothing and I mean NOTHING gets done. They added a new med -hope it helps. Are you on any meds?

Keep posting-I need more coffee

Maggie

Posted 9/25/2011 2:18 PM (GMT 0)

bayoub2 said...
Are you on any meds?

not on any medication at the moment.
Posted 9/25/2011 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
You said you know exactly when it's going to come-is it linked to something specific? I never know when my will hit. I'll be doing pretty well, family geting along, bills are paid and aWHAM! on my back And I am on 3 psychotropic drugs.

You are 17, you can have awonderfel happy life. But, the first thing I'd do would be get appt with therrapist and look into meds. Also you may want to see regular doc and make sure these are not linked to a physical prob/ Hang in there.

Maggie
Posted 9/25/2011 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
I know when it's most likely to happen, every night rather late 11pm-until i pass out "if im awake which i usually am", i can see it being linked to the surgeries and UC but i dont really feel its coming from that, still is a possibility its part of it though.
Posted 9/26/2011 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Adam

From11 to 4 am are theworst times of day(if You're awake) Problems are much worse from 11-4am. There are no daily hubub to keep your mind on other times late at night' so then the what ifs, ishoulda,icoulda...an exercise in futility. What is , is. I'm sure that you could find a great trip even with med problems. By law, they have to make certain accomodations for you, too

I try to block-like visionms  back my hieronymus bosch visions ofd black holes, ot the nmightmatres that never end. I fo deep breathing for about 5 min to clear my mind and then i do visualization (agorgeous lake in Vermont where i pent summers there. Google Deep Breathing and visualization. These are simple tools to help and do them anytime.

 Deep breathing helps me clear the worriesand be in the present,no yesterday, notomorrow, just a beautifula peaceful moment in yotake care

Hippy Dippy Maggiee

Posted 9/26/2011 10:12 AM (GMT 0)
good stuff maggie. i just walk......................................and clear my head that way. or ofcourse my music, have it on loud and proud at the moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hang in there adam. you have been given excellent wisdom and advice. i send you much healing compassionate thoughts your way. jamie.

keep posting and let us know how your going. we care.
Posted 9/26/2011 10:28 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah Jamiee-

One of my faves is to get in the car, put in Led Zep, Eagles Hendrix or Raitt if I want to cry. I hit the interstate and crank it up!!! Music was my saving grace as a kid-studied piano and when the drunken parents started the evening ritual name and blame, I'd play Beethoven or Rachmanioff-big loud angry music-felt sooo good

I put down the piano for 40 yrs. and yesterday (odd timiing) I pulled it out and started practicing scales-just the sound of music(No julie andrews hallucinations here-lol) brings life...so yeah, jamiee excellent idea.


BTW, really none of my biz, why 2 e's and you really a counselor-omg how can you handle all their stuff in yr head???? Wow

Yes, I have been awake since 2:35

Magie
Posted 9/26/2011 11:13 AM (GMT 0)
the extra e - well it is apart of my e-mail address so i left it that way.

with the counselling only helping a few people at the moment. not in professional practice at the moment, too unstable. am studying at the moment doing a diploma in mental health studies. looking at doing some outreach, etc.

well done on the music, piano. very nice maggie. jamie
Posted 9/26/2011 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
Geez jamiee, my hats off to you...I can barely deal with my own troubles...what a big soul you have..I am studying to be a CASA volunteer-which meansin family court issues, I speak for the child, not the judge, parents or the State. I also get to hang out with them and bring care packages (sometimes I tell them Mommy sent it) and listen to them....very rewarding but exhausting as I am sure you know. There is a huge, huge hole of need and sadness and our little shovels may not fill it, but it helps...always nice to talk to you...are youu inBritish Isles?

Maggie
Posted 9/26/2011 12:14 PM (GMT 0)
always nice to talk to you as well. australia. good on you for the CASA volunteering. good on you for doin' your bit. done plenty of volunteer work over the stretch as well. be good. jamie :-)
Posted 9/26/2011 12:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi David. We share the same September 30 birthday. Sorry you are feeling down. As you can see, you will get good advice here.

Jamiee and Maggie - I guess being able to help others when there is so much going on inside of us keeps us going. I am a teacher and even when I am very low I try to pull it together to help that little face that is looking at me for direction.

Hang in there David.
Posted 9/26/2011 12:43 PM (GMT 0)
it does stillme. good on you for doin' your bit.

have a great birthday david and stillme. may many blessings, fun and enjoyment come your way. my birthday is the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jamie
Posted 9/26/2011 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
You made it another year-Happy Birthday!!!!

As far as volunteering, Bible says what you give will come back tenfold.

Maggie
Posted 9/27/2011 1:15 AM (GMT 0)
thx mate. :-)
Posted 9/27/2011 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Jamie,

Your birthday is November 1st? Mine is the 22nd. This year it will be 11-22-11. Wierd...

Hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/27/2011 2:47 AM (GMT 0)
oct 1st karen. 11-22-11 is certainly different, have a good one. jamie :-)
Posted 9/27/2011 11:46 AM (GMT 0)
I guess I spaced out the month of october. lol...

HUgs, Karen
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