so much pain its hard

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Has it only been since your son's birth? Perhaps it is postpartum depression?

If your current counseling is not working, let your therapist know or look for one that might have a better fit. Don't give up! All you need to do is take one thing at a time, and you can make it through the worst moments that way. Keep busy doing things you enjoy so you are not left ruminating with depressed thoughts. Have you tried sleeping pills or other methods of helping you sleep?

I suffer from depression and anxiety/panic attacks. I've , just got out of the hospital last Sat. I feel worthless, stupid and alone. Meds are hard, because I have reactions or allergic to them. Can't even take Nyqual for a cold. All this started 5 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. All I want is to be me again (i.e. before cancer). Too much has happened in 5 years, we lost custody of our 2 year old granddaughter when I got sick from chemo, I lost the best job I've ever had, 6 of our pets died or had to be put down due to illness, my sons buddy was killed in a car wreck, my hubby's friend was killed when he wrecked his scooter and now I've lost another job. With this last suicide attemp we lost custody of our 3 year old granddaughter. I FAILED again! That's it, I'm a failure.

Sorry for the edit, but we aren't suppose to discuss suicide.  Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 10/28/2011 2:27:38 PM (GMT-6)

Hi DDown,

Please don't think of yourself as a failure. We have all got challenges, yours have just been extra hard. You have been dealt a tough hand in life and it is only natural to feel badly.

Are you going to any counseling now? I hope so. You would really benefit from the prospective of a counselor at this point. I know that you probably feel that you have let your granddaughter down, but you have done the best you can. I hope that wherever she is right now, she is okay. Can you continue to see her and do things with her? I sure do hope so. You are a wonderful grandmother, don't ever forget that.

Do keep posting, know that we all care. If you feel like it, feel free to start your own thread.

Hugs, Karen

Elizabeth1234,

I wanted to but in and welcome you to the forum too. I think I forgot to say that to Down. It seems that we are all going through a rough time right now. I wonder if the seasons are effecting us. The shorter days and gloomy weather. That is what I have had. I don't know about you all. But it is harder to get out and do things. Trapped inside it feels like.

I hope you all feel better soon. Keep on posting. We are here for support to you all.

Hugs, Karen