My Pathetic Life

Beagleman,

I am proud of the progress you have made so make sure you are too.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Kindly,

Kitt

Beagleman...The way I see it you have been quite an inspiration to us...I hope you had fun at your function. I am so proud of all you have done. Hang in there...



Take care, Amy

Hello all, thanks very much supporting me through my extreme depression. Look, I did attend the singles event tonight, I spoke to a number of woman but did not go well. Firstly it was extremely noisy and nearly impossible to have a conversation, it was not my scene,I bought ginger ale to drink, no alcohol. Yes i do feel really depressed but i know I am not a failure, it is hard being lonely all the time when you want love but I know I am trying. I guess for me what is frustrating is every one I know at my work have a relationship, I just wish i could relate to someone. It is incredibly hard to stay positive, I doubt if any one would believe how hard i try. No one has told me what it is like to be in love and have a relationship, I have no close friends, and i guess my problem is i suffer from a weakness for love. Even my psychologist would not tell me, I guess it is a secret for those who have it to enjoy. I am very tired and I am going to sleep now.

Hello all, the singles night was an upstairs room in a pub, there was no area for sitting and people were crammed together in a room about 100 people. Many seemed to be enjoying this event but to talk you had to yell and I guess I thought it was going to be tables and quieter. my plan was to say hello, intoductions, may i buy you a drink, do you mind if i join you. I thought then I could comment about their clothes, looking good tonight and then small talk. What usually happens plans dont work and meeting woman is so hard for me. I will keep trying, I know I have much work to do on self esteem, self image. I know I look o'k but my confidence is very low. Other areas, I am not a good conversationalist, I find this hard. Although in the street, in normal situations I speak more natural, and find it much easier than being in a crowd which not only is noisier but super competitive. I am not critical of myself, I did not fail, I went to the singles event and i met woman and I know alot of others would not try so for me this is another achievement.

Hello all, thankyou Daisy76 and all members for your kind support. I am reading a motivational book. I am learning a few coping skills in the book. O'k here is one: there is no such thing as a failure only results. I used to try things, singles functions and not get a date, and i would think i am a failure, now i know this is defective thinking and with this knowledge I can keep trying things without need to punish myself and know i am confident for believing in myself and have tenacity for trying. Another thing I have learned is to model myself on people I see as sucessful. I know this person at work who is confident and I have tried to model myself on him. What i copied was: this guy would speak slowly, deeper voice, a bit louder and when I do this i feel more confident and calmer. I know i can learn other things so I am open minded and keen to improve my outlook. Thanks everyone for believing in me.

I am too Beagleman... You are doing positive thinking and it is working...

Good deal!!!

Hugs, Karen

Beaglman....what you have been doing it is not easy, I commend you.


Take care, Amy

Beagleman.....Hang in there, you are making progress. You should feel good about yourself I think you have helped others just by watching you show growth in your self esteem everyday. Have a good week and keep thinking of the positives. You are in my prayers.


Bless you, Amy

Hey beagleman,

You have really helped me the past week and just reading your posts helps me too. I read that you were worried about the holidays and meeting people... I think we all struggle with this. I have a balcony on my apt and this weekend, a friend of mine was at one of her friend's houses who just so happens to have the balcony right next to mine (there is a cross street in between). They invited me to come to their balcony to watch fireworks, but I was afraid that once I got in the crowd, I would not be able to contact them so I just stayed on my balcony. Phones were not working well since there were so many people in such a small area, so none of our messages were going through. Turns out, the girl is now mad at me because of the lack of communication. She says she isn't "trying with me anymore" because she thinks I was ignoring her messages, the ones I never got.

I sent a text to the guy she was with who had also apparently tried to text me that night. I sent him a message being kind and trying to be funny about how I never got his message as well. No answer.... it was very difficult for me to send that text, you know, go outside of my comfort. He is new in the area and also trying to meet new people so I thought it would be good for us to know each other since we are neighbors. Even if we just grabbed a bite to eat every now and then, it would be nice to have a new friend. But, no answer because of the big mis-communication I suppose. Anyway, I guess I wanted to let you know that we all struggle with getting to know people or the fear of being alone. If I think about the future too much, I get very lonely and sad, so I just won't let myself do it. Same with my past too... I'm trying to only focus on it when in therapy or when I have time to allow myself to be upset. I think you are really doing well and trust me, we all worry about making friends or being with someone at some point.

It is very difficult to meet people, I agree. It was much easier when I was still in college or waiting tables. But, good things don't always come easy and I am sure our efforts will start paying off. You're doing the right things and I am glad you are receptive to taking advice from your psychologist.

There is nothing wrong with writing.

Hugs, Karen

You will beagleman! Don't ever give up :)

Hi Beagleman,

I am glad to see you getting so much support from others on the forum. I have watched you improve so much and just wanted to remind you of that. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward as you have.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen