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Posted 12/17/2011 6:35 PM (GMT 0)
So, I went to my appointment. We talked about what went on last week. You know the major sadness wanting to cry at every moment. We went through the meds I am currently taking which is about 4. She increased the dosage on all accept the Wellbutrin. She said we will give it a few more weeks then move to the stronger Cymbalta.

Then she introduced the idea of my going to a day program. She said I stay all day, go home, then come back the next day. Has anyone gone to a day program before, She wants me to go for 5 days. She is looking for one and is supposed to get back to me Monday. I can't be off for 5 days. I am a teacher. Anyway, if you have any experience with this please let me know.
Posted 12/17/2011 7:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Stillme,

I am not familiar with the day program, but it sounds like something that might help you. If you can take the time off of work, I would do it. But if that isn't practical, maybe there is something else you could try. I hope that the increase in meds helps you. Do keep us posted.

I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/17/2011 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Honey they are called IOPs or intensive outpatient programs. I attended one for 4 and 1/2 months from 9-1 m-f...it is like being in the psych ward but yo get to go home every night...it really taught me alot of coping skills but takes alot of commitment. My program was great, lots of varietie and classes.

Check it out for a week

Let us know
Maggie
Posted 12/17/2011 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
definately take a look, i was in a 6 month inpatient program in 2004. many blessings, jamie
Posted 12/19/2011 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you guys. So since she suggested this I must be doing pretty bad:( I'm working hard it's just that these obssessive thoughts. If they would shut up things would be better. The therapist did give me a technique that has helped some. She said just repeat a phrase when the thoughts comw. I have chosen: Hit the road Jack and don't you come back no more...... I find this kind of funny so it helps. In the movie Ray, I believe, the lady sang this and that scene was funny to me.

Hope everyone is getting sleep. I'm stressing over getting the house ready, gifts and the food I have to prepare. I guess if they knew how I was feeling thsy would have helped me more.

It's like there is so much and I can't do anything.
Posted 12/19/2011 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
I went for five days after being hospitalized. Mine was very focused on life skills and how to cope once we weren't inpatient anymore. I really liked that they didn't pretend you could completely cure depression, and it was nice to be around people dealing with the same issues. We learned about different medications and how they worked, which was interesting. I actually felt better for awhile after I did that. Maybe addressing this head-on with an intensive program is what you need right now?

Whatever you choose to do, I hope you feel better soon...

Keep us posted.
Posted 12/19/2011 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
I don't think you are so "bad", I think that she just found something that she thinks will work for you. Obsessive thinking was always my problem too. After they put me on abilify I stopped doing it. It is hard, you have to stay focussed on the present a lot. I think if you can do this program that it will be good for you. And in the meantime, work on focussing. Staying in the now, or the present. Paying attention to what you are doing. It all equals the same thing. And it stops you from obsessing. I like the afirmation that you chose. Hit the road Jack... That is cool... lol...

Keep your spirits up. Keep on keeping on. I think you are on the path to wellness. Know that we are all a work in progress. And together we will all keep trying.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/19/2011 3:36 AM (GMT 0)
I think I will try to do it. Have to check out my leave first. I don't know, I'm just so tired of being sad, Bluemoon I think you are right. We have changed and adjusted me meds every two weeks since about oct with very little improvement. I will keep on keepin on, but it is as if I am moving in slow motion.
Posted 12/19/2011 9:45 AM (GMT 0)
my many compassionate healing thoughts to you my friend, jamie
Posted 12/19/2011 10:17 AM (GMT 0)
My program was great and i'd still be going if it wasn't so far away. My classmates became friends, we cried and laughed, had silly b-day celebrations, staff was wonderful, classes on meds, visualiztion, positive self talk. Ours were split inot groups according to diagnosis and severity so they zeo in on YOUR problems..excellent
I strongly urge you to go

Let us know and as far as xmas prep goes, do what you can..Santa will still come if the house is cluttered, mine is..I decorated and did minimal shopping for close fam only.It is just too much and family should understand that

Let us know
Maggie
Posted 12/19/2011 3:48 PM (GMT 0)
I stayed home from work to get some shopping done. Have to get my lithium level checked first.

Been feeling a little nauseous and pretty off balance. Sometimes if there isn't something there to hold I would tip right over. LOL. I will tell my psych dr this when I go back. The tremors in my hands seem to be a little less.

It is comical when I am laying out all of the pills I have to take. Looking at the bottle, looking at her insturuction sheet then back and forth.

Sigh
Posted 12/19/2011 4:03 PM (GMT 0)
I used to work in group homes where many of the residents were on multiple medication daily and some of those medication instructions could be very tricky like take 50mg of this med on even days and 100 mg on odd days type of thing.

What we ended up doing was finding a pharmacy that would put the medications in monthly med packs. The meds would be put into these blister packs with each pack having 31 slots and the packs would be filled with however many days of the month there was and there was a pack made up for each time of the day medications were to be given.

Because of the volume of meds we ordered through this pharmacy these packs did not cost us anything but I looked into it for some older relatives and it would cost them $2 per pack to have them made up.
Posted 12/20/2011 2:52 AM (GMT 0)
Today I wish I was gone. My house looks a wreck, I haven't finished shopping, my son has a project due tomorrow, I feel sad. I am overwhelmed right now. I know it's going to work itself out but right now I can't see it. I just wanted to cry as I walked through the mall today. Couldn't find what I was looking for. It's just too much. My car that I use for work smelled like it was burning. Called the warranty, they arranged a tow truck. Truck is 2 and a half hours late, service center closes at 6, today they must have closed at 5, because when I called they had the voice mail on.

Something is trying it's hardest to push me over the edge. I am barely gripping the side. In a way I want to just let go.
Posted 12/20/2011 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
Everything will be okay. They will get your car. I would work on making sure your son does his project, and then work on wrapping some gifts or something else. Worrying about it doesn't change the situation. Just do the best you can with what you got. The rest will work itself out. Try to breathe. Relax. This is not the end of the world. It may seem overwhelming. But that is all it is. You will get through it. Keep posting, hang in there...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/20/2011 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hang in there stillme...just breathe, pray, listento music anything to get thru the next hour and go to that program

I am praying for you
Maggie
Posted 12/20/2011 6:46 PM (GMT 0)
Stillme,

I have been following you and hope that things start to look up for you. I understand the obsessive thoughts.... They are horrible. I haven't learned how to control them yet. Right now, I am working on positive thoughts in my sessions.

I think Karen gave you really great advice about sticking to the present. I actually wrote some of it down for myself! I think the program your doctor suggested will be good for you. I understand how nerve- wracking it is to need time off from work. I am always worried I will have to explain myself when I need to leave early once every two weeks for therapy. But in all honesty, if I were an employer, I'd rather someone take the time off and stabilize themselves. In the long run, that is better for both you and your job.

Maybe you will be able to go over your break from school?? A lot of times, I feel that there is something pushing me to wit's end as well, about to be over the edge. I think that's when we have to hold on the tightest and not give into the evil.

Hopefully your meds will start working better and helping with the obsessing... I hope mine do too! Good luck, stillme. I have faith you can do this.

Courtney
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