Posted 12/19/2011 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Hi.
I am am in the middle of my Sunday night freak out, and I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid. Last night I went with my boyfriend to his company's Christmas party. I felt on top of the world. Then I woke up this morning, remembered it was Sunday, and felt horrible. I feel like I ruin half the time I spend with my boyfriend being sad that he has to leave at some point. It's so stupid. Then when he does leave I feel awful. I can't stop crying. I don't know how I'm going to get to work tomorrow, let alone how I'm going to get through five days of it this week. I'm going home on Friday, but I don't want to. I feel like the gifts I bought are cheesy and not enough, and I just hate the stress that comes with Christmas. Ugh. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, my thoughts are really jumbled right now. I don't know why I freak out like this. I can't stop crying and it just feels like everything is caving in around me. I want to call my boyfriend, but he just left here like two hours ago. Not even. I feel like such a needy crybaby. I hate that I ruin the time I do have with him by being sad that he has to leave at some point. Logically I know it's stupid, emotionally I guess I don't. Arrrgh. I just don't want to cry anymore. I don't want there to be a knot in my stomach. 24 hours ago I was on top of the world and now I'm in a pit of despair. Yuck. I hate Sundays...