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Venting update... Made the right decision in August

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Posted 12/19/2011 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
I tried to find my last post that referenced my update, but I got frustrated with searching so I just started a new one... hope it doesn't bother anyone. Spent some time at home this weekend, ready to be off work for Christmas so I can head down there again and be with the kiddos (I'm the oldest of four). Been trying to get out of this little town on weekends... that's the most free time I have and it leads to too much thinking.

A friend that has known me since 5 was in town last night and I ran into him coincidentally. He ate at ex's work on Friday and being as she works in the back, she had to go out her way to speak to him. She confronted him and asked if he was "taking care of her girl". Her girl, referencing ME. Ladies and gentlemen, she has a new partner, is this not correct?!?!? What the HEY does she care who is or is not taking care of me??? She used to ask our mutual friends if they were taking care of me... she quit talking to them. So now, going to childhood friends? Oh yes, and my dean from college. Classy.

Also, she is positively back into illegal nonsense... has been asking around town who she can buy from (tried to make that clear enough without breaking a forum rule). Hello... it's a small town... really?!?! EVERYONE knows everyone's business on any given day. She was involved with that crowd before we met, told me she quit because she did that when she was unhappy. When she confessed she went behind my back, that's when I told her we were done (go me). So, I guess she's unhappy again. GOOD. I couldn't have any of that associated with me.

I know it is not good to wish ill upon others and I'm not wishing badly upon her...just reveling in the fact that CLEARLY the grass is not greener on the other side for her. However, it is for me.

Done with my vent :)
Posted 12/19/2011 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Courtney,

She probably isn't over you actually. Too bad she is into things she shouldn't be doing. She clearly isn't happy. I am sorry to hear that. Oh well, your life goes on. You aren't at a standstill, you are moving forward. I am glad. Leave it all behind you. Keep doing what you are doing. Take care of you.

I am glad that you posted. Your thread could of gotten knocked back a page. Just keep up the good work that you have been doing. You have been trying really hard and it shows.

Hugs to you...

Karen
Posted 12/19/2011 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
I have been trying really hard and it means a lot that you acknowledged that... I forget that here, people understand the effort that all of this takes. I am moving forward... I think that now, when I go to my sessions, I will be able to talk more about the deep rooted things, not this hurt that is on the surface. Time to get all of those broken pieces back together.

And, it makes me slightly comforted that you think she isn't over me (I know, demented thinking...). At this point, it is comforting to me that I have suffered through my loss and have chosen to not only deal with this situation, but others. They do hurt and it is hard. But I have to do it for me and the future that I want to pursue: a happy future. The idea that her avoidance of this situation (and many others) will only come back to bite her in the rump is also comforting. Soon, it won't matter to me at all. And then after that I will be remorseful for my angry and hateful thoughts towards her... and after that, I will laugh about all of this (that will happen MUCH later down the road).

Thanks for the support. I won't let ya'll down. I think there will still be bad days, but I have ya'll :)

Courtney
Posted 12/19/2011 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
we are here for you and each other. keep up the positive work. jamie
Posted 12/19/2011 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
I am inclined to think that this was her attempt to get you to notice. She knows it is a small town and that the word would get back to you. But you are beyond that. I think anyways. I am proud of all of your accomplishments. And I think you should be too. We get the bumps in the road, but we keep pushing forward.

I have become friends with a young lady that is going to be leaving on Friday. Moving away. It is hard for me right now. I know I am going to be lonely for awhile. I am use to her coming over pretty much every day and talking. But I know there will be other friends. But there are few that I am this comfortable with. Sometimes it is hard just having friends and knowing then that you wont see them for awhile. Here I am dwelling on mine instead of posting about yours. Sorry. I just had to talk about it for a minute. A little vent.

Keep up the wonderful work you have been doing. One day at a time, that is the best we can do.

And to try...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/20/2011 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
It is ok by me that you shared a little what is going on in your life! I understand the comfort you will lose when that friend leaves. I am sorry that she is moving :(

During a lot of this process, I felt like my ex was treating me the same way she treated the ex before me. Like me, when ex left her too she just started ignoring her, no explanations. At this time, ex and I had just become friends. She would talk to me about the relationship problems, but when she ended things, she was perfectly ok. I thought she was rude for not explaining herself to the girl she had dated for so long, but I hadn't heard any nice stories about the girl, so I figured the end had been coming between them for awhile. Apparently, my ex was cheated on alot and financially and emotionally abused by her, so everyone was glad to see her get rid of her.

Anyway, just like now, ex cut herself off from anyone and anything that would know something about her. I thought it was one thing that she was rude to me and our mutual friends, but now she's just rude to everyone in general. When she sees people that she knows and/or used to work with, she only waves from a distance. I got down about this because I was comparing myself to the old ex. I knew that I didn't treat her the same, so why was she treating me like someone she disliked so much??

It's not me. I didn't deserve any of her behavior and quite honestly, I don't think anyone she dishes it to deserves it. She's a pathetic creature with no consideration or genuine concern for anyone but herself. She's the victim, all day everyday. Do I think she's happy in the moment? Yep. No doubt about it. Do I think she's truly happy? Nope. I'm not happy right now, but I'm working on the real stuff, the things that will heal and allow me to find pure happiness again (I'm not sad though, just kinda "blah").

It made me very angry yesterday that she had the nerve to refer to me as "her girl" and inquire about me to that close friend. REALLY ANGRY. I'm not HER GIRL and I never will be. She doesn't really care about me. My life or well being is none of her concern. She cannot maintain relationships with friends and family... I highly doubt an intimate relationship will work forever if she can't maintain the basic ones. In the meantime though, it is very frustrating that she has so much "fun" while I pick up the pieces of my life that were thrown around by her selfishness.

I am thankful I get to go home this week. I really love being around my family, even if it is dysfunctional and stressful.
Posted 12/20/2011 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
I honestly don't think she is as happy as she puts on. It sounds to me like she is one of those type of people that pretend. She just wants you to think she is happy. I doubt that she is truly happy like you said.

You are doing much better than you were. Don't let thoughts of her get you down. I am glad that you are going home for awhile, you need a change of scenery I think. I think it will do you some good. I hope so anyway.

Keep us posted on how things are going. Remember you are a good person. Don't ever doubt that...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/20/2011 6:11 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with everyone Court!
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