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Always with the bad decisions :(

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Posted 12/24/2011 6:36 AM (GMT 0)
I'm not sure how many stupid, bad decisions and mistakes I have to make to get it through my head that my life isn't working this way. I'd say a good 80 percent of my decisions have been influenced by my depression, bipolar/other mood problems and anxiety, and the other 20 percent is just self destruction and carelessness.

My latest crisis is this: I'm afraid because I ended up sleeping with someone and the sex was only partially "protected" and safe. So you know where that leads me....worried about Stds, etc. I'm sick to my stomach wondering what could be. I know i need to go to a doctor soon, and until then I won't be with anyone. I really disgust myself :( What if it's something really bad? I don't know how I'll deal with it on top of everything else.
Posted 12/24/2011 7:46 AM (GMT 0)
hello elfenprincess, go to the doctor and get tested, you get the results back quick these days. I guess you know already the answer to your anxiety, dont delay and you will feel much better.
Posted 12/24/2011 11:23 AM (GMT 0)
Elfy,

You can get the morning after pill from your chemist, so that's one worry down, and yes, you will need to see your Dr for the other stuff. Treatment that is sought quickly, will mean quick recovery if you do have anything.

When making decisions, we can all rush in too quickly and get caught up in the moment, because you know this is what you tend to do, try to in the future slow down and think abstractly before reaching a decision. Quickly in your head go through the pros and cons. This takes practise at first and then becomes second nature. It is all learning, not a mistake or stupid or bad decision, it's just a skill you are about to now learn.

I am sure everything will be ok, and I know you will not relax till you have medical results, let us know how you get on, and don't be hard on yourself
Posted 12/24/2011 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
I am kind of starting to wonder if you have either the right diagnosis and/or a complete diagnosis.

Do you often find yourself making decisions "spur of the moment" meaning that when confronted with a decision you often go with the first thought that pops into your head or that you kind of go with it without even giving it a thought until later?

If you do you might want to think about talking with your doctor/counselor about the possibility of having ADD/HD. Bi-polar and/or depression and other mood disorders often go hand in hand with ADD/HD and sometimes ADD/HD behavior mimics bi-polar and/or mood disorders which leads to a wrong diagnosis.

One of my kids is ADD/HD and in the beginning he was Dx'd as bi-polar among other things and his treatments were not very effective. Eventually he was evaluated for ADD/HD and was started on treatment for that and did much better. Once that was some what controlled he was found to also need some additional treatment for depression and bi-polar tendencies and at that point he really started to make progress and do 100% better than he was at the start.

Please do not take this to mean that I suggesting you stop any treatments you are on or anything like that, only that you speak to a professional about it.
Posted 12/24/2011 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry for what you are going through. Just remember that worrying doesn't change anything, just makes you more nervous. I would get with a doc asap and get this off of your mind. I hope that everything is okay. Were you drinking when this happened? Or did it just happen? Know that from now on, you need to be responsible. Never leave it up to the other person, always take that responsibility for yourself.

Let us know what happens. We are here for you...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/25/2011 4:12 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you...I haven't been to the doctor yet, just waiting to get through the holidays then I'll make an appointment. I also want to see a psychiatrist and see what kind of formal diagnosis he/she will make...it always seems to be something different each time lol. For the medication I started I just went to my regular physician to get started.
Posted 12/25/2011 11:37 AM (GMT 0)
I think it would be good thing to see a psychiatrist. You will get the proper diagnosis. And if you aren't satisfied with that, go to another one. We pay them to work for us. So you have more power than you think in that situation. Though it doesn't feel like it now. Keep trying. We are right behind you.

Hugs, Karen

PS Merry Christmas...
Posted 12/26/2011 6:06 AM (GMT 0)
yep right here for you. with much compassion, jamie
Posted 12/26/2011 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
Elf...here for you...I will keep you in my prayers.

Bless you, Amy
Posted 12/28/2011 2:30 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you <3
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