need some strength

Hi,

I am sorry you are going through this right now. It is always hard when we have a breakup. Especially when you are with them for a long time. Try to pull yourself together. Things are going to be better. It just takes a little time. And as you well know, it isn't easy. Know that we are all here for you right now. Things are going to get easier for you. You are a good person and things are going to work out. Have faith in that.

Keep posting, there is usually somebody around on the forum to talk to.

Hugs, Karen

Maybe he can get sober and be there for you. Have you thought about alanon? It is for people who love others that are alcoholic. It sounds like his personality really changes when he is drinking. My first husband drank the first two years of our relationship. He was terrible when he was drinking. But he quit, and we were together 23 years until he died of cancer. But if he could quit drinking it might work between you two. I wouldn't stay around for the abuse though when he does drink. It is a hard decision. But you should feel safe and loved. He also may need some grief counseling. Grief has a timeframe of it's own. It can last a long time. It has to be worked through.

I hope that things get better for you and come clearer to you. Are you going to any type of counseling to help you with this? It might be something that you could think about. Or get a couple books that help you with what you are going through. I am glad that you posted and are reaching out. What you are going though is hard and you need support. We are here for you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen