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New meds, attention seeking, and drinking

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Depression
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Posted 4/1/2012 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
Since I've had so many issues for so long, I finally broke back down and went to see a psychiatrist to see what he'd suggest.
The kind of anxiety and depression combined with the frantic thoughts and dissociation I usually feel...I explained all
that to him and he presribed prozac (I've been on this drug before and i hated the side effects, especially the loss of libido), but he told me 10 mg would be such a low dose that I shouldn't have any problems. On top of that he prescribed valium (for the anxiety) and vyvance (an add med for my lack of focus). Well I love the way the valium and vyvance make me feel when I take them in the beginning of the day, but i had some trouble with my heart racing, and when they wore off at the end of the day (specifically the vyvance) I would feel a terrible crash. Empty headed, depressed, listless, hopeless. Then I've been going to bars lately not even drinking THAT much, and not when I'm on the valium. I've been going to bars frantically it seems to get attention. From anyone, male or female. I go to extremes, either I'll isolate myself from people, or, when I start meeting people it becomes a domino effect in the sense that I crave validation and attention. It's gotten out of hand. I hate myself when I look in the mirror, I feel like my thoughts are so scattered and im addicted to all these substances, prescribed and the alcohol. I just feel lost and sick and disgusting.
Posted 4/1/2012 12:44 PM (GMT 0)
Vyvanse has a very smoothe delivery I was told and you werent' suppose to crash. But it wasn't that way for me either. I was taking 80mg. 40 in the morning and 40 in the early afternoon. I am now on adderall 30mgxr and I feel wonderful. So maybe you should try the adderall. Vyvanse isn't suppose to be addicting either, but I am not so sure about that either.

Stop going to the bars. It is so depressing. They are dark and you will find trouble there. Is there anything else that you can do to meet people? The attention seeking isn't a good thing. Talk to your pdoc about it. You are opening yourself up for bad things to happen. And even though you aren't drinking much, it still adds to your depression. The feeling of worthlessness.

You are a worthy person. You aren't discusting. You just need a little help. See a counselor to talk to about this. They will help you feel less needy. You are a good person, always remember that. And the fact that you are feeling this way and posting, shows you do care about yourself. You are afraid right now, but with counseling, that will go away. You will get stronger.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 4/2/2012 7:33 AM (GMT 0)

I thought i would post real quik. U need 2 stop drinking right away & going 2 locations (bars, etc.)Your drinking will only make ur emotions, and feelings go round & round on a rollercoaster. If ur feeling that the meds & drinking is causing ur daily life too much...Have u thought of perhaps going 2 inpatient, or even outpatient?

I'm a recovering alcoholic, & i know that ur drinking just enhances ur depression. Outpatient is a great source for reaching out 2 get help also. Though i know that it can be a scary thing 2 step out of ur comfort zone or what is familiar 2 U. But what is important, ur life. U R a strong person & U will be a success 2 ur self. Take care of ur self so that u can help others.

Good Luck & u will be in my prayers.

Serenitee

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