Boyfriend Woes

Both my boyfriend and I stayed home sick from work today. Totally separately as we don't live together and didn't even know the other was sick until today.

My day off turned into more of a mental health day than anything else, and I am feeling incredibly guilty. I should have gone into work.

The only way I know he didn't go into work is one measly text that says he didn't go in and might not be feeling well by this evening. I called him back, but he didn't answer so I left a message. I told him I could bring soup and crackers and a movie if he wanted.

Now I'm sitting around like an idiot waiting for him to respond. I know he won't.

I feel bad because I know that he doesn't feel good, but he never lets me in. I'm not feeling good (for different reasons) and all I would want (if he wasn't sick too) would be for him to comfort me.

I'm listening to Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" on loop and crying my eyes out. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've hit rock-bottom. I can't not go to work just because I'm depressed. I'm depressed all the time, that wouldn't work.

Anyway, I don't know what to do. If this were a movie I would show up at his apartment with soup and crackers and a movie, but I feel like in real life that wouldn't go over well. Why doesn't he want me to take care of him?

This is also making me realize how depressing my life is. Without him, I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. It makes me want to move back "home" (the other side of the country) really badly. If he's going to treat me poorly, and he's the main reason I'm still here, why would I stay?

Hi BlueMoon,

First of all, you have to take care of you. Nobody else will. That is just a part of life. You need to do somethings for yourself. Buy some new clothes that fit. Start walking. It is really good exercise and it makes you feel good not only physically, but emotionally too. So start out slow. Maybe even just five minutes a day until you can go farther. It would rally help you. Do you go to any counseling, I can't remember? I would suggest that you start if you aren't already.

Secondly, some people just want to be left alone when they are sick. They don't want chicken soup or anybody around. Your boyfriend may be one of those type of people. You felt better as the day went on. Apparently he didn't. So I would give him some time to feel better and not get upset because he doesn't want you to come over. When I am sick, I just want to sleep. I can't entertain the thought of other people coming over. So I can understand that part of him. Don't let it hurt you. Don't feel bad about it. You offered but he declined. It is what it is.

I hope your depression lifts soon and that you feel better. I would just kick back and watch a movie by yourself tonight and hopefully he will feel better tomorrow.

Keep posting, and please do something nice for yourself.

Hugs, Karen