Posted 4/30/2012 9:38 AM (GMT 0)
I feel disgusting.
I see an hideous person from the inside out when I look in the mirror
I don't know what's wrong. One minute I'm ecstatic, then next I'm crying and
wondering why I even bother. I hate the why society works; how it's all based
on money and status. I have such anxiety I haven't even been able to keep a job...
the only decent relationship I had fell apart, which I knew had to happen at some
point, but it's still depressing.
Another guy I've cared about deeply for years has been trying to get me to hang out
with him again, but I'm skeptical. He's not giving me alot of attention and never did
in the past, yet he claims to love me. I've been just angry with how people
treat each other, and it's making me bitter. I feel like if I"m going to be lonely
I may as well be ALONE :( Blahhhhhh, I just want to feel joy again, or at least contentment
like I did when I was a kid.
I don't think I'll ever have that again :( My brain is so twisted. I feel unworthy, but I can't even stick
to that. It's just constant chaos! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!! :(