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Posted 7/27/2012 5:38 AM (GMT 0)
Im not sure if this is the right place to post this but ill give a shot anyways. Over the past few months, i have become increasingly 'down' on myself. nothing seems to ever lift me up no matter what i do. ive been noticing myself feeling sluggish, angry, irritable, sad, VERY anxious and paranoid. its not even like i have any triggers to start these feelings, they just happen and seem to last around for sometimes days at a time. (Depression is not a new thing for me, ive struggled with it in the past). lately it seems as if im having more 'bad' days then good. before when i was dealing with similar feelings it would be more like a cloud of grey hanging over my head that would drift off sometimes minutes later. the reason why i am unsure about everything is because it seems to have intensified and become alot more frequent. i can not recall any event recently that would bring this to the surface, it felt as if it was a graduale build. things that used to make me happy now have no effect on me anymore. and sometimes its almost like things that should make me upset or sad almost llift me up, but not in a normal sence. i have also been noticing my mood is inconsistant (or atleast thats what people tell me). has anybody else had a previous experiance? i know we all experiance sadness and depressed feelings at one time in our lives but this just doesnt feel the same. my daily rutine has not changed alot either, so again i dont think there has been anything inparticular to trigger this. if somebody has any suggestions or thoughts on how to help please let me know.
Posted 7/27/2012 9:22 AM (GMT 0)
hi, this is sounding very chemical based,
i would print of your post and make an appt
with your doctor for a chat. know that we are
here for you.

with healing compassion,

jamie

ps welcome to the forum.
Posted 7/27/2012 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
You don't always realize what triggers an onset on depression.  Sounds like a call to the doc is needed here for meds or a med adjustment.

If you are not in a support group, that might be an idea to look at for these down times it is good to be around people that feel as you do.

Keep posting here. You will find some support always!

Posted 7/27/2012 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
I have never been involved in a support group, but it has been recommended by different doctors along the way. I was on medication starting at 16 and even at that time it was still kind of hit and miss. the 1st doctor i saw about this was my family doctor who referred me to a psychiatrist because he felt he didnt have proper experience in mental illness. things with the psychiatrist were going well. the reason i said before that it was a 'hit and miss' sort of thing is because of the amount of different medicines they had me on. they would always tell me that a diagnosis was not possible because i was showing too many symptoms of too many things and that they couldn't pinpoint which disorder it is. that in itself was a little depressing. well 2 years into treatment i thought i was doing well enough to stop going to appts. and to stop taking the medicine. the last time i took the medicine they gave me was about a year ago. so i guess what im asking is is it possible for it to take the better part of a year for my symptoms to return after quiting treatment? or is it possible that im experiencing something else? i often feel like im having symtoms of something more severe but i do not feel comfortable mentioning them. the depression and anxiety is my biggest concern because i feel it is restraining me from doing what i need/want to do. is there anyway of starting to cope with this at home without a doctor or more medicine? (i know seeing a doctor would be my best option, but i feel trying on my own is worth a shot also.)
Posted 7/27/2012 7:22 PM (GMT 0)
You really need to talk to a doctor aobut this. There are different avenues you can take. Medications, therapy, herbal supplements. It isn't always situational and can be solved that way. Often it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Whatever you do is up to you, and we will support you, but really you should see a doctor and get this under control.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 7/27/2012 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Karen,  getting stable under a doctor is paramount to anything else at things point.
Posted 7/27/2012 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
at this point!  reason is going it on your own in when you have depression, is one of the worse ideas. It is like going on a trip without any money.  You just would not do it.  It is like any other medical condition, people with depression, anxiety etc.. need a doctors care. THERE IS NO SHAME IN IT nono

I wish you to stay safe and best wishes.

Posted 7/28/2012 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
thanks a lot for all your tips/advise. in the morning im going to see if my doctor is in and just go from there. if not i may have to wait until Monday which is fine also. i kno thats the most important step to take but sometimes the first move is the most difficult. until than ill definitely take what you all said into consideration. thnx again.
Posted 7/28/2012 5:51 AM (GMT 0)
good move.

here for you,

with healing compassion,

jamie
Posted 8/1/2012 6:49 AM (GMT 0)
well, i suppose i can say that since my last post i have been doing a little better. except today. all day i have been having thoughts of guilt. no real sadness or depression, just guilt and regrets. i regret making certain choices throughout my life and the outcomes have let to guilt in someway or another. and whats odd is that i dont even know if i have a reason to feel guilty about anything at all. its just been a weird feeling in the back of my mind. what is even stranger is at times it feels like i need certain feelings to feel 'normal' (sadness, guilt, depression, anger, anxiety, etc.) has anybody ever felt that almost welcoming feeling that i am experiencing today? im not sure its necesarily a bad thing, i think its just that from feeling those things so often i guess i ve just accustomed myself to them. well, just thought i de send an update to everyone who replyied previously with their thoughts and suggestions on my original post, thnx again
Posted 8/1/2012 8:09 AM (GMT 0)
keep strong,

with healing compassion.

jamie
Posted 8/1/2012 1:16 PM (GMT 0)
Orten if we are depressed for a long time, feeling good feels strange. And we welcome the sadness that we are use to. You just have to learn to feel good with no guilt. It takes practice. I use to get these terrible feelings of dread when I was feeling good. I was feeling guilty for being happy. Keep on trying. It does get better.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/1/2012 1:18 PM (GMT 0)
I'm curious, what did your doctor say?

I guess most of us here would find it more 'normal' to feel bad. I know that's what I thought was normal for most of my life. The trick is to realize we don't have to feel that way.
Posted 8/2/2012 7:02 AM (GMT 0)
Karen, your exactly right. That is part of what i was trying to explain. its like when i am starting to feel happy again im pinned down by a dreadful feeling. sometimes i think that the only reason why ppl are ever nice to me is so they can get me to feel comfortable around them so its easier to hurt me later. i dont kno if that is more of an insecurity or anxiety or exactly what the reason for it is but at times it is very uncomfortable.
Kaely, i suppose i haven't found the trick to not feeling that way yet. its hard to realize when you hardly have an idea or approach on what needs to be done or how to do it.
Posted 8/2/2012 12:45 PM (GMT 0)
You could be undermining your own happiness by not feeling comfortable feeling good. These creeping in feelings do stop, the more you are comfortable with feeling happy, the less they come along. I think you just made a breakthrough in your thinking. I hope it lasts. Just push those feelings of dread away if you can. I remember going though this, and eventually I felt comfortable with feeling good. Now it feels normal.

Best wishes,

Karen
Posted 8/3/2012 1:57 PM (GMT 0)
plzvalidate,

positive affirmations help this transfirmation into accepting good feelings. Try putting sticky notes up on your refrigerator and/or mirrors with sayings such as: I am a good person. My life as meaning. Smile. I am loved.
Whatever is "real" and comforting, nothing over the top.

This way the positives become more every day thinking.

Trina
Posted 8/6/2012 6:08 AM (GMT 0)
thanks again to everyone who has responded. you guys have helped a lot. although i still dont feel 'well' it is still nice to have positive thoughts from other people. but about the sticky note idea, i have tried that in the past and it didnt help as well as i had hoped. i would tell myself that i am a decent person, others enjoy my company, etc. i would also sometimes whisper these things to myself just to hear the words. but i soon found myself falling back into the normal i guess negative way of thinking. when i would try this i remember feeling 'fake' because although i could tell my self good things i could never believe them. is there a better approach to this? i kno i sound lame by asking so please excuse me
Posted 8/6/2012 11:16 AM (GMT 0)
The more that you repeat the good things to yourself, the more that you believe them. Just like if you are told bad things long enough you believe it. Keep trying and never give up.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 8/6/2012 11:44 AM (GMT 0)
plzvalidate~ If you haven't yet, start a journal about how you feel. Or make a list of regrets/negative statements that are floating in your head then burn them/ destroy them. It may make you feel better. Now make a positive list. That would help. My therapist's words of wisdom is that one must come out of that comfort zone whether it means coming out of that negative zone, changing up your routine or other and you will become accustomed to it and feel better and slowly it becomes habit. I only wish I could follow this advice. I need to make a list or write about what I used to like and enjoy and start doing it like listening to music, scrapbook more, and such. I also need to get to know "me" more. I seemed to have evolved to someone who is someones mother, wife, caregiver and maid. I don't know who I am anymore. And that scares me.
Hope that helps and let us know how you are....
Hugs...Lisa
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