I need any advice with depression... please.

this is really complicated. First, i am from the uk, i'm 16.
i think i do have depression, i've not been diagnosed with anything but i don't know how to control my emotions. when i am happy, i am so happy it is unreal it feels like everything is perfect, and i know when i am happy, something bad WILL happen later on, it always does. Either i have a bad morning and a good night or the other way round. Usually i am sad but dealing with it. I have to deal with my bad thoughts everyday. I am currently trying to recover from self-harming, the longest i have gone without it 4 months, but atm i can feel the sadness building and i am actually scared of myself. I don't want to be sad at all. My bestfriends ditched me because 'i'm too sad' and not exciting anymore, but without selfharming the sadness actually drains me. I have a boyfriend, he is always there for me. Always. but recently i know he's been frustrated with how sad i am. I can't help it, i dont want to drive him away too. i could not stand life without him. I want to be normally happy like everybody else it's not fair. There's a lot in my background and past that has probably lead to this.. heck i've even taken psychology a-level to see if that will help me. I just want to be happy. I am happy though, i know i have a perfect life, good friends, an amazing boyfriend. I just don't understand why this is still happening to me.. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP.

Also, ive considered going to a doctor, but i dont want to incase my mum has to get involved, it would break her to know all this.

Hi Jesh,

Welcome to the forum. I agree with Karen. Re-read her post s l o w l y and consider going to the doctor.

Yes they will keep you confidence, however it does sound like your Mom would be on your side. This is a good thing. You need this right now if things are good between you two. Just a thought. Mom's are tougher then they look.

Stay strong young one.

Trina

Hey Jesh

I'm both a parent and a person with depression. The one thing I realized as a parent is that whatever is or was going in my kid's lives is the most important thing to them at that time. Re-read that sentence and think about it. To some people, whatever you're going through may not seem like a big deal, but I know that whatever it is, it is the most important thing to you right now - and there are other people know that too.

I don't know what the rules are in the UK about doctor's visits and parent's involvment, but as GB said further up, your school counselor can be a great place to start.

And no, you may not feel comfortable sharing everything right away, and that is perfectly normal ! Just like any relationship, you have to get to know a person and build some trust. The comfort and confidence will come, trust me.

Best Friends are hard. They don't always have the best advice, and sometimes they ditch you, but new ones will be there foor you soon - that happens all the way through life, not just when you're younger.

Tons of people will always tell you "it will get better", and that's not always what you want to hear, but it is true. Eventually, it will be better - but you have to work at it too. A minute at a time, an hour at a time, a day at a time...

Tomorrow is going to be a great day, in some way or another. It may be a small thing, but there will be something great about it. Look for it....