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Health problems led to major depression...

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Depression
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Posted 9/15/2012 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know, it would be one thing if my problems were mainly mental, but a counselor can't solve my physical problems. I don't really want to spend the money and put myself through the physical stress of going all the way to a counselor... the closest ones to me are like an hour away and I'm not too good with driving long distances since I've been ill. I just need a real doctor to find out what's wrong with me.
Posted 9/17/2012 2:46 AM (GMT 0)
Someone said on another forum that they thought the flu or virus I had at the end of April just messed up my immune system and could affect me for months. I don't think it's chronic fatigue syndrome but it may be something similar.
Posted 9/17/2012 10:50 AM (GMT 0)
Did I ask you if you had any physical pain? Fibromyalgia is like chronic fatigue, except you have physical pain too. Just curious...

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/17/2012 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Nope, no pain. The only time I had pain was in April when I first got sick, and my ribs and back were really sore.
Posted 9/18/2012 3:38 PM (GMT 0)
I've now reached the point where every time I feel sick I get really upset and cry. I can't handle this much longer.
Posted 9/18/2012 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
Lindsey,

Life does not give us answers as fast as we want them. You have to find a way to center yourself and remain calm.
I will list a few for you to start with, being proactive and researching a few will take your mind off the illness and on to controlling you and your emotions. You need to trust that we know we are telling you is true. A lot of us have been where you are, you are not alone in your symptoms and storm! However, there are ways to ride it our more comfortably.

Metta: act of loving kindness read "lovingkindness"

Meditation: on self-love read "the living Budda, living Christ" spiritual NOT religous

Mindfulness: on self-compassion

Start at mindfulness.org

Both books are very short reads and can be found at the local libraries.

Lindsay, we do not create our pain and suffering. In the end, we are responsible for doing the best we can to handle it day to day and not allow it to conquer us. Take a deep slow breath and start fight back, you can do this!

Trina
Posted 9/18/2012 3:55 PM (GMT 0)
Have you let your doctor know that this is effecting your depression? Maybe you need different meds or something. The more you focus on it, the worse it is going to be. I know that it is hard not to when you feel sick all the time. But I have to distract myself from pain all day long. It can be done with practice. Mindfulness is the key. I don't know if Trina posted to you the site, "mindfulness.org", but I know she has posted it to others. So you might want to try going there and see what it has to say. You are going to maybe have to live with this irritation, but it can be done, and it can be done so that it doesn't effect your emotional feelings.

I am not saying it is easy, as I said above, it takes practice. Meditation could help you too. You can learn to control your moods and the way that you feel. Walking helps a lot. There are a lot of things we can do to help ourselves. I highly suggest you talk to your doctor some more about how you are feeling and possibly a psychiatrist. They can hook you up with some counseling and the proper medications. Keep trying. Stay strong...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/18/2012 4:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys, I will try the things you mentioned.
This is just so hard because I NEVER thought I would go through this, especially at 21. I used to just be too lazy to go to class and now I'm sitting here with horrible nausea, praying it'll go away so I can go. My high school is doing alumni night for band this Friday and I can't go, but I had so much fun last year and I looked forward to it all year. And I just keep thinking about how much I want to see my family and my dog. I just never expected my life to get taken away like this.
I think I'm feeling more and more hopeless because the more doctors I talk to, the more clueless they are. I actually paid $55 to ask a doctor a question on a website and he just beat around the bush and basically should have said "I have no idea."
Posted 9/18/2012 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
I think taking it one day at a time would help you too. Try not to search so hard for answers. It honestly sounds like ibs to me. Though you haven't mentioned a dx of it. Because you don't have one yet. You will figure out what it is. It could be as simple as anxiety too. That gives you a lot of tummy problems.

Try not to think of it so much. And try not to let it get you down. Your life isn't hopeless. You just have an aggrivation right now. Get your mind busy and off of it.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/18/2012 11:05 PM (GMT 0)
I was thinking of IBS as a possibility. I'm also thinking endometriosis because my mom had it and had bad gas like I do.
I was able to go to class and I feel a little better mentally and physically now, although sitting through class is always hard because I get anxious about feeling sick.
Posted 9/18/2012 11:34 PM (GMT 0)
I am so happy that you went to class and made it through. Is there any way that you can get checked for endometriosis? Though ibs does sound like a possibility.

Take it one day at a time. No faster...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/19/2012 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
I have a transvaginal ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday. I didn't even know about it until today when I called to see if they had referred me to the gastro yet.
After I got out of class I was feeling really good, then I started getting bad gas and stomach pains that made me feel nauseous until I ate. That almost seems like an ulcer but that rarely happens to me. It might just be the antibiotic I'm taking for a UTI giving me stomach acid problems.
Posted 9/19/2012 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
I may be wrong but sounds like you may have GERD.
Posted 9/19/2012 2:55 AM (GMT 0)
I have too many symptoms for it to just be that. I don't actually get heartburn very often (I think right now it's caused by antibiotics), just gas. I should find out about my gastro appointment tomorrow; I hope it's really soon.
Posted 9/19/2012 5:03 AM (GMT 0)
Heartburn is just one of the symptoms but some ppl dont get it.
Posted 9/19/2012 5:42 AM (GMT 0)
I don't think it causes any bowel symptoms though. I feel like my GI problems are probably intestinal, maybe IBS.
Posted 9/19/2012 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Lindsay,

I do hope that you find some tangible answers with your upcoming appointments.

Try not get into forecasting the future, it will only make your anxiety worse and your symptoms worse. I know how hard it is NOT to do that, especially in your perdicament, but try.

Try to use focusing or mindfulness to stay in the moment, in the present "now" and it will slow down the anxiety you feel.

Stay strong and let us know how your appointments go.

Trina
Posted 9/19/2012 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. It's really hard not to keep thinking about the future when the idea of getting better is the only thing keeping me going. But at the same time I'm worried I might not ever get better, because it's been so long and every time I go to a doctor I come back as clueless as I was before.
Posted 9/20/2012 3:20 PM (GMT 0)
Just got a call from my doc, they did a blood test for gluten intolerance and it came back normal so that's one more thing ruled out.
I'm just getting so tired of this. I hate that I never feel like eating... I will start to feel lightheaded if I haven't eaten for a few hours but food never actually sounds good and I never really feel "hungry." Right now I need to eat something before I leave for class but eating is just such a chore now. Ugh.
Posted 9/20/2012 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
Lindsay,

I can understand how you feel about eating. The topomax I am on, takes away my appetite, but I have to eat everytime I take my cymbalta. I force yogurt down three times a day at least, you do get used to it, mindfulness helps, have you tried it yet?

Glad to hear you are going to class.

Stay strong!

Trina
Posted 9/20/2012 4:18 PM (GMT 0)
Yeah, I went from loving food and cooking to being a picky eater and never having an appetite. There are only a handful of things I can eat that don't seem repulsive. I just miss the days of going to visit my mom and cooking amazing food, and also cooking with my boyfriend. It's amazing how much you take little things like that for granted and how much you miss them when you can't do them anymore.
I have tried being more positive. I did notice yesterday that my hair isn't falling out as bad as it was and these weird little red dots on my skin seem to be going away. So those things made me think "maybe that's the first sign of getting better and this will just go away one symptom at a time."
I'm hoping my stomach will feel a lot better throughout the day since I finished my antibiotics and didn't take one last night.
Posted 9/20/2012 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
I think it is great that you are noticing the positives. Keep looking. You will see more and more as time goes on. Remember the mindfulness...

Hugs, Karen
Posted 9/20/2012 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
Well, I turned around on my way to class because I started feeling worse. :( At least I tried.
Posted 9/20/2012 11:59 PM (GMT 0)
I am beginning to think you might have social anxiety... Do you always get sick when you try to go somewhere? Or just today? At least you know in your heart that you tried.

Hugs, Karen...

You can always try again tomorrow.
Posted 9/21/2012 12:06 AM (GMT 0)
Nah, I've been pretty nauseous all day. I think I do get a little anxious when I have to go places just because I'm worried about feeling sick but my stomach's been upset ever since I got home, and it was last night too.

I still think it could be from the mold I was exposed to even though doctors don't agree. I talked to a girl who said she and her sister got sick from it when they were kids and they had lots of nausea and no appetite, and it took them a while to recover after they moved.
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