feeling lonely and unloved

I'm a 20 year old girl and I think I've been dealing with mild forms of depression for as long as I can remember. I've always had low self-esteem. It mostly starts with my appearance. I always felt "fat" since I was ten years old, even though I have never been overweight. When I was 13 years old I started to take that out on food and starting to watch what I eat and how much I exercise and basically that was a whole issue throughout high school, and my weight has been up down throughout the years.

I've just never been happy with the way I look for some reason, even though there are people around me who are constantly telling me that I am beautiful, and that I should model. A few people have even told me that I am the prettiest they've ever met. I don't know if I should believe that. But not only do they compliment my looks but they say that I am a beautiful girl on the inside, and have many admirable qualities that most people, especially people my age don't have. That I have a great personality and heart, and that I am talented, smart, mature, very kind, caring, and always sweet to others.

People think all these great things about me, but I don't really have that many close friends. I don't have boyfriend. I've never really had a real boyfriend any way. It's partially because my parents don't want to me date until I looking for something serious and they have also raised me to wait to have sex until I am married. I've been involved with guys but I've only done semi-intimate things with them, and they ended up screwing me over anyway. I just want to be loved and cared for. Why is that so hard to find? It upsets me so much when I go to school and see that all these girls have a best friends and boyfriends and just surrounded by affection, and I am not. My dream in life is to settle down, get married to the right guy and have children. But sometimes I feel like that dream won't come true.

I don't know what to do, if there is anything I can do. I feel like my parents have overprotected me so much that they have prayed that no one loves me so I don't end up doing something that they don't want me to. I just feel so lonely. It drives me insane that I go through a day everyday but have no one to share it with at the end of the night.

Hi Dancer,

You sound like a very nice person, and I am sure people are accurate when they describe you as a good person. Keep that close to your heart.

Take life one day at a time and try to live n the moment. It is much easier that way. Know in your heart that you are a good person and that is all that really counts. I hope you can see that.

Eating healthy is good for us in many ways. It not only is good physically but helps us mentally too. So keep a good diet lifestyle.

I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting and know that we all care...

Hugs, Karen