First Major depression Epsiode

Hello everyone! I am new to this forum and Hope to get the best out of it. I may be able to provide a different perspective since I am a physician myself. I am currently experiencing my first Major depressive episode and many of you now what Is like. I have suffered from anxiety for at least 12 years but never felt depressed ;though, I am sure there was a component to it. I just saw a psychiatrist this past week and I am in the process of getting a therapist. This has just been overwhelming as I cannot explain why this is happening. Many people I know have a difficult life, life stressors, financial hardships, divorce that triggers them;however, I have none of them. I am a Young (34) physician, with a good life, travel when I want, if I see something I want I buy it, I can help my relatives and friends whenever they need it but yet, still fell into this depressive episode. This experience has given me a very different perspective of life. Nothing is more valuable than our health, nothing can buy that and I see it daily in my line of work. Last week I went to visit my brother and he noticed there was something bothering me, I couldn't explained to him why. I just cried and cried. He hugged me and said "I don't know what's wrong with you but whatever it is, we'll get through it". I recall in medical school studying about depression and the so called "feelings of impending doom"...waooo now I am feeling them. Learning about my depression has even made me more depressed. It has been several months since I've been anxious and three weeks since I have been feeling depressed. AS you all know it sucks. After having the crying spells, no desire to get out of bed, daily headaches, and no motivation whatsoever;that's when I decided to seek help. AS previously stated I already saw a Psychiatrist. Since I am single and without a girlfriend, in a city where there is no family dealing with this has been even difficult. I have turned to the most important being ..GOD! I am praying daily so I can learn and overcome this. I even called my mother and asked her to come be with me for a month, which she is going to do in a few weeks. Can't wait until she is here. Just this week I saw a patient in the Emergency room with a major depressive/panic disorder crisis;this patient was crying non stop. I felt so bad and deep inside In my heart I was telling this patient "I know exactly what you are going through and I wish I could hug you and tell you that I am suffering in a similar manner".
I do not know whether my condition will be chronic or not. Either way I'll have to deal with it and cope with the tools I have . God will help me as I am not alone despite of how I feel. I am making changes as difficult as they may seem to me. Anyone can recommend good books on how to overcome depression? For future reading as I don't think I can concentrate enough to read right now. Anyway, I apologize for the long venting. I needed to get this out of my chest even if it was in written/typed form(since I'm still searching for a therapist).

Great link
Trina

Chamo,

Welcome.

I did not have time yesterday, however I wanted to give you a little insight on depression. I have MDD, I am sorry to hear that you are have a major episode, they are not fun.
You will feel like you are on a roller coaster ride when you are coming out of the episode. Good days and bad days. Once the medications level out in your system and/or you find what works best for you the hills level out some.

Changing your diet helps a lot for most people, reduce your sugars, and salt as much as possible, increase your water intake. NO SODA. This means eating naturally for the most part, no processed meals. Then of course there is the exercise which is very hard on the bad days. So walking becomes important just around the block will do wonders. All this helps to keep the MDD at bay.

I do not mean to insult you, however these are things I have learned the hard way with my MDD because the doctors didn't tell me. I choose to believe they just do not know.

When you get in that "why me" place and we all do; you can be sure that once you are on the other side of this it will change you into a different person. You will be a more empathic and listening doctor for your patients, because you have experienced the emotional pain. You will know that it is NOT all in a persons head. That will be a great gift!

Just the fact that you are reaching out and finding alternative help for yourself is amazing to me. I am 51 and I have never met a doctor that stepped outside their science bubble. Granted, never went to a doctor before 2006, but still. It is a great leap of faith for you to do this.

I wish you peace on your healing journey, I believe in God so I think there is a plan for you but we will end it there.

Stay strong and keep posting we support each other here and listen, so it also a great place to vent!

Trina