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Posted 12/10/2012 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys. I went home for lunch and saw her. I didn't give her a hug. Her body language didn't seem very receptive. I went to leave to go back to work and started to walk over to give her a hug and she just waved and said bye. I bought her flowers and put them out for her to see when she got home and didn't even get a thank you or anything. I don't even think she read the card. So IDK. I really don't want to go home and sit next to her in complete silence either. By time I get home and get the girls in bed that'll be all there is is silence. Is it normal for it to be this way when you're married. It almost feels like we are just room mates.

Paul
Posted 12/10/2012 11:03 PM (GMT 0)
I think it is normal for somebody who is depressed. Do what you would normally do. Don't walk on eggshells around her. She wil pick up on that. I think she appreciates the flowers. And it makes things festive for all. Don't let this get you down. It will get better and become less tense, just be yourself.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/10/2012 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
I am trying to hang loose. If anything I have been more myself over the last cple months. I've come to realize that I have abandoment issues and I feel needy alot.Whether it is a hug or kiss or a simple acknowledgement.

Paul
Posted 12/11/2012 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
Maybe that is something that you can work on while she is working on getting better. You will both become stronger together. Learn that people are still there, even if they don't constantly remind you of that. Just having somebody else in the room can be enough. Or knowing that they care without being told. Or shown. When people are depressed, they tend to dwell on themselves. Allow her to do that. She will open up to you in time. Keep the faith.

I hope that you have a good night.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/11/2012 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Karen. I had an ok night. My youngest hadd an ear ache and didn't go to sleep until like 11pm. I am trying to just do my normal routine. She gave me a hug last night before bed and one before work. If that's all I can get for now it is better than a cold bed and nothing. Been writing my feelings and thoughts down before I go to bed. It seems to help slow my brain down. It's nice to get it out and not have to worry about the piece of paper voicing it's opinion. Looking forward to watching the tube with her tonight. And maybe talking abit. She has a session today and is going to talk to her dr about her meds and possibly trying to find a combo that will let her have some feeling because she says she know she should feel a certain way and doesn't. So that's a plus. Just having her home has reduced some stress.

Tired yet positive,

Paul
Posted 12/11/2012 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Paul, glad you are staying positive. Good thing you realize the abandonment issues. this will help you in the long run.

If it is too quiet for you in the house put music on low, so there is back round music.

Being yourself is the best thing.

Stay strong.
Trina
Posted 12/11/2012 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
Yay Paul,

It sounds like you are making good headway. I am glad she is seeing her therapist today. And that she is communicating to you. Keep taking it slow. Staying in the moment is fantastic and so is the journaling.

Keep up the great work!!!

Hugs, Karen
Posted 12/12/2012 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys. This forum has been a HUGE help as well. I am grateful to have a place to vent when the normal circumstances make it unable to do so. Have had a good day thus far. Noticing more focus at work on a daily basis. I also noticed my wife put her rings back on today. She hasn't worn them since everything happened in Oct. I don't have another session until next week. Im just going to take it day by day and keep doing the things I have been as of late. Thanks again for everything! I will update tomorrow! Going to go home and spend sometime with my 3 ladies. Night !

Taking it day by day,

Paul
Posted 12/12/2012 1:33 AM (GMT 0)
I am really happy for you Paul. Keep on keeping on...

Hugs...
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