Getting off the Floor

When I am in the grips of my depression all I want to do is lay on the floor in front of the heater and listen to sad music. In doing so I neglect everything else.I stop cleaning house, cooking, paying bills etc. After I begin feeling better I am left with this disaster that I have to work through, which is where I am now. I was feeling overwhelmed looking at all the things I had to do to get out of this mess, which then gives me anxiety and the cycle begins again.

This time I decided to try something new. I wrote up a list of every single thing I need to do to get my life back on track-take out the trash, clean the fish bowl etc. Now looking at my list I can see that I have accomplished 8 things so far this weekend. By breaking it down into tiny manageable steps I find it is easier to get things done. Rather than clean the whole house, which is overwhelming, I instead am taking it one room at a time. I may even break it down further, rather than clean kitchen, I will write do dishes, clean counters, empty fridge. Easy steps that I can do.

I think I have come to accept my disease and all that it encompasses, but I don't have to let it rule my life. Yes, there are going to be times when I am down, but if I can get off the floor and do just one thing in time I will feel better.

Jennifer I am so happy for you! You have just jumped a huge hurdle in your healing journey!

Realizing that you have limitations and allowing yourself to have them! This is the was we actually make progress! You have just practiced self-love if you are not aware of it.

Keep up the good and hard work, you are worth it!

Peace
Trina

Darn right we do Jennifer! Love Shack, little Love Shack! .......Tin Roooof Rusted! LOL

I am feeling pretty good today. I nearly completed my to do list. I have just one item left which I will take care of tomorrow. Then I will be back to where I was prior to this last episode.

I even cleaned up after myself while cooking today. It will be so nice to come home tonight to an empty sink. I know for most people this is nothing. It is what you are supposed to do. But for me, it is amazing. By taking it one task at a time, making my expectations realistic, and acting proactively I am actually accomplishing life.

If I can just do one task each day I can keep my house in order. By putting it in such simple terms perhaps I can even keep my house in order when I have a depressive episode. Or, by keeping my house in order maybe I can prevent one. No longer feeling overwhelmed by a massive to do list feels freeing. Looking around and seeing order is relaxing. It takes less time preventing disaster than it takes cleaning it up.

Perhaps I will have some time now for self care-working out, meditation, cooking myself nutritious food, getting out and doing things I enjoy, painting, sewing, writing. Funny, that list now feels overwhelming when I look at it. Perhaps I will just do one or two of these a day.

Anyway, hope everyone is having a good day.

Tootles!

Jen

I love your tip about breaking things down so you can manage them. I remember reading something like that somewhere else too and it really does get overwhelming if you try too hard to look at the big picture all the time.