Relationship Issues caused by Depression

So i just found out that my ex-girlfriend is with someone else. I'm feeling horribly Depressed, its completely debilitating.

We were together for about 1 year. She broke up with me about 2 months ago, telling me that she was not ready for another big relationship, that i was a great guy and she needed to figure some things out for herself. She obviously lied to me as she is already with another guy..... a guy that i kinda long suspected she had a thing for... i feel really depressed and totally rejected. She also told me that she needed to be with someone her own age (im 23 shes 27), even though the guy shes with now is 21.

On top of all this i got very drunk the other night and sent her horrible messages, that don't represent me at all. I feel really guilty and ashamed. She probably thinks i'm a complete loser now, when all i really want to do is get over this and be friends. I was just angry that she was never honest with me and left me going in circles trying to figure out why this had happened to me.

I'm seeing this whole thing as a big turning point in my life.. its made me reflect on all the things i did wrong and how i need to change. I am a very ambitious person, but depression and anxiety have stopped me from becoming the person i want to be, i am only just realizing this now and feel i have wasted crucial years of my life going in circles, lacking direction and having no love for life or myself.... Its probably why she left me. Time to make some positive changes and take control of my life... it's just really hard.

I've organised to see someone about my depression. I've kind of realized lately that i have probably been depressed for years and it's affected every aspect of my life. I have been binge drinking once a week since i was 16, probably because it gives me confidence and makes me feel like the person i want to be, but in recent years all it has done is created horrible self loathing and strained all of my relationships. I've talked to my GP and i'm thinking of starting anti depressants, just to see if it helps. . Anyone seen any benefit from them or got any advice? If anyone has been through something like this before, it would be great to hear from you.

Tim,

I am glad that you are going to see a therapist or councelor and will be talking to someone about your issues. This is a courageous step!

The messages you sent your ex I believe are a sign of anger. The anger could be deep rooted and not neccessarily related to the break up.

It maybe beneficial for you to start journaling to get your emotions out and on paper. You will be surprised what comes to the survace once you start writing. You may even want to share with the therapist, gives a starting point of things to talk about.

Try not to be to hard on yourself. Everyone has issues, we learn and move on from them. You are doing the best you can right now, it sounds like. Be proud of that fact, step ahead of a lot of people!

Stay strong
Peace
Trina

When you start to get negative thoughts, put up your mental stop sign and say "stop" three times in a row. This usually clears the mind so you can think of something else. And as with anything, practice makes perfect...

Have a wonderful day...

Hugs, Karen