It's Been a Long Time

It's been a while, and I am really thankful that I haven't felt the need to post.
But, recently have felt the need for some encouraging words from my healingwell family.

The other day I had a severe wake up call as I had a car wreck driving back to school. I am fine and my car didn't even really get damaged, but it was a scary thing regardless. Causing my anxiety levels to increase. Now I think I am on the down slope of that experience. Realizing what a miracle just happened to you but then reflecting on how short life is, can sometimes cause you to doubt and wonder about your self-worth. I have found myself thinking a lot recently about my purpose. Things that I do now seem empty and pointless. Even playing tennis within the past few days has seemed meaningless. (and that says a lot because tennis is my life) What am I even doing here? Have the things that I been through in the past been counted for nothing? I can't seem to get a grasp at this time.

I am tired. I have been through a lot physically and mentally the past week or two, and I feel like it is pushing me slowly back to where I just came from. I find myself being more draggy and slow than normal. My anxiety tells me that I have to do everything "right now" and do it perfectly, but my body is screaming to slow down. I don't see things slowing down. I feel like I am caught in that fast current of life again that continues to push me to the bottom of the river, leaving me gasping for air.

Thanks, Trina.

I have been thinking about that a lot actually. There has to be a reason I wasn't hurt in the accident and I am pretty sure tennis will have something to do with that reason. Thank you for the encouragement and the push in the right direction. It's good to know you're here.

--MA