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Feb, eh?

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Posted 2/21/2013 10:31 PM (GMT 0)
Seem like many are feeling the Feb blahs, cranked way up. I know I am. My b'day yesterday. Went out to dinner with 2 of my kids and their Mother last night. Been working too much - 84 hrs last week - just started touching base with my Dad since my Sister's passing 11 months ago - she woulda been 60 on Feb 26. MIssng my eldest son, won't talk to me.

Mostly, I miss my Sister. Today's just been a bunch of tears and I am not looking forward to tonight. I just want to know why?
Posted 2/21/2013 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
I think its taken me a year to be able to fully mourn her passing. I just wish I had someone here. I
Posted 2/22/2013 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
i dont want to cry anymore.
Posted 2/22/2013 12:30 AM (GMT 0)
I don't believe you ever fully mourn someone. The memories just get easier and fonder. You and your dad could probably share some wonderful memories of your sister. He may need that, too. Sometimes grief makes it feel like we are the only one feeling the sadness so deeply but your dad may be feeling the same thing.
Don't ever feel like you can't let your children know that you love them. For your son, just keep trying. Someday maybe he will see how fortunate he is to have a parent who never gave up on him.
You always have people here. We may not respond right away but we are here and we know how you feel.
Posted 2/22/2013 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
thank you all. 'm just at ravaged. I need to curl up in someone elses arms. s hard being a man of 53 an admiit that.

As someone once said - and I turned away love when I needed it most.....it's the last ride....my little game is over....

Without my sister, I am nothing. I feel nothing but dread, sadness, pain and loneliness. Sure, thisd may pass but I don't know about next week...or 2 days fromk now.

i hate this
Posted 2/22/2013 1:49 AM (GMT 0)
I understand. My grandfather passed in October. I still am grieving like it just happened. Some days it's so hard to even consider a future that doesn't involve him. He was so much to me and I don't think I'll ever stop missing him.
You always have others here who understand how you feel. It helps to talk to others. Therapy could help, too. I'm going to therapy for my depression.
Posted 2/22/2013 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
thanks. I've been through many years of recovery and therapy. I have the tools I need to get thru this. I just feel so alone. My sister was the one constant in a life of crisis and turmoil and now I feel like I cant deal with life - not without her guidance. I just feel abandoned.

I know the sun will rise again but am not so sure I want to see it. All I do is for my kids so I know as well I'll not harm myself. I just cant help how I feel and learned long ago to not deny my feelings. I'll have them, like today, but also know ultimately I will not let them rule how I live. Partly a lesson from my sister, partly therapy.

I needed to vent and knew I could do that here and that someone would hear me and care. I just wish I had someone...I look much more closely at my own mortality since my sister's passing and see my old age as nothing but loneliness.

I want to try and get my wife back but after 7 years of separation..well.....

Well, tomorrow will bring a new sun, new opportunities - good and bad - just hope I will have cried enough for now.
Posted 2/22/2013 5:21 AM (GMT 0)
Oh you would not believe how much I can understand. My grandfather was my rock all my life. He was never sick for a day in his life and then he was diagnosed with lung cancer. I had to watch as the man that meant so much to me wasted away and I couldn't do anything. It's been months and it still feels fresh every single day.
53 isn't old. That's the new thirties. My dad is 50 and he just got remarried and is helping to raise a couple teenagers. He was single since I was 16 and I'm now 29. There's always hope.
The first step to reconciling with your ex wife would be to speak to her. Find out what she wants. It would be smart to do couples therapy to make sure you are both ready to try this.
As you can tell I am around a lot. I don't sleep much. There's also a lot of other great people who can offer different view points.
Posted 2/22/2013 9:46 AM (GMT 0)
with healing compassion 2 all,
jamie
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