Just started dating someone with depression - need some advice

Hello,

I am 40 and have been separated from my ex for 2 years now. I have recently started seeing this great guy. We met online and chatted for a week before meeting in person. We really click and have been seeing each other for about a month now. He had his heart broken when his wife left him about 12 months ago. He has been very upset by it and would cry himself to sleep every night for the first 8 months. He has been to the doctor and is now on medication for depression - only been taking it for about a month. He is not seeing a councillor and doesn't believe in them. He has never had depression in his life. The reason I am writing is that things between us have slowed right down and I could feel him pulling away. He kept asking me if I was ok and so the other day I told him how I was feeling and we had a massive chat. He explained to me that he has never felt so confused in his life and that he really likes me and thinks I am amazing etc but he just can't give me anymore and he doesn't know why. He said he is all stuffed up in the head and can't make any decisions.He has also said he doesn't want to get hurt again and he doesn't want to hurt me. I asked him if he wanted me to give him some space but he said no he didn't think so.
I really care about him a lot and I just want to do the best thing for him. I want to spend more time with him but I am prepared to take things slow if that is what he needs but I am concerned that he is just not ready for a relationship and maybe needs some time on his own to heal. I just don't know. I am so upset as I don't want to lose him but at the same time I just want to do what is best for him. Is there anyone that can offer advice?

Monte,

If you are looking for long term love in this relationship, it may not happen. However, that is not to say that you can build a true friendship with this person. A lot of relationships turn platontic and last a life time.

It depends on what you each want out of the current situation. Take it one day at a time, enjoy each others company, don't pressure each other into comittment and just see what happens.

Too often we push for the romance and miss the friendship in life. Which is more important?

Peace
Trina

Thank you for responding to my post! I do agree that I need to give him time. I spoke with him yesterday afternoon and suggested I give him a couple of days just to think about things a bit more and then we will talk again. This has also given me some time to think and I have realised that I really do want him in my life and if he still wants to see me then I am prepared to take it very slowly and give him the space and time he needs and just take one day at a time and see what happens with no pressure. If he decides he can't see me at the moment then I will respect his decision and let him know that I care about him and I will be here when he is ready.
In this day and age I think we all find it difficult to wait and take time (and I am guilty of this) but sometimes that is all we need.