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Posted 3/18/2013 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
I am 34. I have had a lifetime of depression and post traumatic stress. I have always had issues. I am always in my head. I have constant thoughts of the past and the future. I always prepare fo the worst. I feel like I just cant be happy. I have divorced parents from the time Im was born. My father is in my life but not part of it. My mother is annoying and also stuck in her head. I am married to a bipolar with ocd. He has other health issues and is on disabilty. I have three step kids and none of my own. His kids have issues. Spend the last 4 years dealing a teenage girl cutting, taking pills and drugs, promiscuity and accused rape, and attempted suicide multiple times. She has lied and manipulated everyone for years. Step son has a brain tumor with multiple developmental delays and behavioral issues. My husband is taking testosterone injections. His sex drive has increased from an already hypersexual state. I used to be his equal and now there is so much emphasis on sex its a source of stress for me. I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure, scoliosis and arthritis that causes much pain. I take wellbutrin. I have seen counselors and therapists off and on since I was 20. I am obese. I feel like I cant do anything right by anyone and I cant juggle being the only one that works trying to b responsible and falling a hole with someone who cant help me cuz it makes him depressed because i have issues. I am so low and no one understands.

I gave your thread a title, you will get more responses that way...

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/18/2013 2:26:30 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 3/18/2013 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sdforalifetime,

Welcome to the depression forum.

It sure sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on right now. Do you go to any counseling? I think that would help things to be less stressful and you wouldn't be facing everything alone.

If there is anything that you could put on the back burner for now, that would be so cool because then you wouldn't have so many issues to deal with. Such as the future and that past. There is nothing that you can do about either one right now and to ignore that would really help you to deal with certain issues right now.

Does your husband go to counseling? It would be awesome if he did. Though you seem to think his depression is due to your issues right now. Don't take the blame for his depression. He owns that, you are not responsible.

Get out of your head. Practice mindfulness and maybe some meditation. It makes life so much better. Being mindful is so important. There is a thread called "resources". Check it out. It is the first thread. There are some sites in there that will most likely help your children and you too. You need a break. Maybe get a good self help book dealing with the issues at hand. Stop blaming yourself for your depression, this happens to us, and it is nobody's fault.

Take care, keep posting, I deleted your other post, it was the same, you probably hit submit twice, Ihave done that before...

I hope that things get better soon. You may need some medcation to help you through this. Talk to your doctor about what is going on.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 3/18/2013 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Sad

welcome to the forum. You do have a lot to deal with. However, it is NOT who your are and IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You have the choice to overcome your depression and to change your life is you so wish.

The first step here is to build the skills you need to get stronger. At the top of the depression forum is a thread called "resources" please review the pages and see what would help you. Put some numbers in your phone incase you need them. Learning new skills in life is what growing and fighting depression is all about.

Do not let anyone tell you that their issues are your fault! Everyone has problems, we have own them, they are our responsibility to correct even if we did not cause them. It is not fair if we try to blame some else for our issues.

You can do this, you took the step to reach out here for help. We will support, listen and care for as long as you continue to post. So please keep posting.

Stay strong
Peace
Trina
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