Hi, this is my first post, i would like to start by saying this website is the first time i have ever reached out on what has truly been going on with me. i am 21 with my whole life ahead of me, and yet i have never been more lost in my entire life. i feel the root of my feelings comes from my money situation not being the greatest, growing up my dad had a very successful business and we were always upper middle class. my fathers company went bankrupt my junior year of high school being the same year as my grandfather passed away. i feel very conflicted with my self because i feel great on some days ready to take on the world and other days not have the motivation to do anything.
i am currently going to college and play for the schools hockey team, and this year i have been going strong living with my girlfriend in a apartment...but this feeling of being lost in my life is affecting my relationships in from my good friends to her. i have been through a phase of drinking and smoking but whenever i do it only post pones the problems for a few hours and once the unnatural high of smoking or drinking where off i feel even worse
i have many goals and dreams for myself and know the best ways to achieve them but for some reason i am held back weather its because i am scared to fail or not knowing where to start... i just need some legitimate direction in my life, i am tired of being happy for a day and not feeling like myself most of the time and taking it out on the ones who care for me
i have had some **bad**thoughts but never been able to go through with it because how much it would put a tear on my family especially my father who works so hard for me but still struggles. i know there are many people worse off then my self, but i just wanna be the care free, hardworking, funny working guy my friends and family know not this person i am becoming. with the direction i am going only negative can come out of it but i need to figure out why i am so sad and unmotivated, thanks
Post Edited By Moderator (BnotAfraid) : 3/21/2013 1:13:48 PM (GMT-6)