Hi all,
I don't know if any one reads this. I am a 29 yr old male. I came here, Unite States, from another country to continue my studies. After 4 years of studying here I feel that the only thing I get is depression. 4 years here I had just one girl friend. The problem is that I always felt depressed or in between depression. There are reasons behind it. First I haven't seen my family for 4 years. I couldn't because of visa problems. The second reason is that I wasn't accepted much by the new country. Specially by girls. I am handsome, back home, I was so confident that even I didn't look at girls that much. Here, since I am foreigner, have a thick accent, and specially from a controversial country, girls reject me or they avoid me. It is new for me or at least it was when I came. It made me more antisocial. And it is like a cycle, you try, get rejected, get more depressed, and you try less, or in a short time you try many and you get nothing and you get more and more depressed. I don't wanna try girls that much any more. Also, as a foreigner finding job is even harder than finding a girl friend. It is the same process for the job too.
Now, I feel that I should go back home and think of this stage of my life as an experience which I would never want to repeat. But, at the other hands my ex girl friend says you are handsome, funny, etc... you will get girls , you will get friends, as soon as you get the job. I also think that what if this depression remains in me even when I get back. So, I wish I never came here.
My question is that, what is this depression? After 4 years and not overcoming these feelings means that I am not belong to here, right? I got some times depressed back home but my family was there helping me get through hardships. Here I am by myself, confused, deciding to go back. I can't even organize my thoughts.
Post Edited (bachefuz) : 3/29/2013 9:40:27 PM (GMT-6)