I am going through so much at this moment. I feel desperate hopeless and alone. I am about
to graduate from college this summer and I am in a tremendous amount of stress due to that alone. The paperwork and the numerous examinations, in addition to having to past three important exams in order to get my license
further more there have been numerous problems going on at home. I'm married, and my husband of two years just out of the blue confessed to me about
having issues with commitment. He explained he's going through some changes inside and wants his time. He says he loves me and that he's in love with me but sometimes he feels like he's not.
we both been through a lot specially him being that his father almost died but, his dad is doing much better now. He's been distant and cold lately, this hurts me tremendously I so much need his support love and understanding but he's very redraw. After everything that happened with his dad I was there for him like expected in a marriage, it affected us both a lot not until too long ago we were actually reconnecting again expending time together and being romantic again. He went away for work for a week and came back like whole different person and this has me filled me with great doubts pain and anxiety. I am so depress and anxious all the time. I feel like I have so much on my shoulders, pushing myself to finish school and do well on all projects and exams and at the same time I can't help it or control my anxieties and fears about
my marriage. I am very much in love and it saddens me deeply to think of my short marriage coming to an end. Having to be strong at school stay positive concentrate and keep and strong face around him and be patient is killing me. I can't sleep, I can't eat I have lost soo much weight and I am a tiny woman as it is already. I feel desperate alone and sad, he once told me "I don't think is healthy that you get so stress out and anxious if you think of us not being together" I tried to keep my composure but that was a stab wound straight to my heart. I have invested all my feelings in this marriage which is my first one too, second for him. I had put all my trust love loyalty everything! And he's new behavior is consuming me inside. I feel like I am drowning, overwhelm with school deadlines examinations and the future of my marriage. I am in so much pain, everyday is a struggle to act confident and secure around him and keep myself together to accomplish the things I need to do and also stay focus be patient and hopeful he'll go back to his old self and look at my with love passion and desire and actually show it and express it to me. I have stopped my medication for depression/anxiety for almost a year now, I don't want to go back to taking meds my anxiety levels keep rising and I do fear of relapsing into a big depression, I feel I have so much on my shoulders. I go back and forth about
maybe starting to take something for anxiety even thou I have no insurance and I wouldn't want anyone to know. I don't know who to talk to because I feel embarrass fearful and afraid of what their response might be.
Post Edited (Urania) : 4/7/2013 2:28:02 PM (GMT-6)