A little advice, please?

I'm a 20 year old female. Basically, I've had depression for approximately 5 years now. I just cant get rid of it. I feel like I'm just stuck in a rut and there's no getting out.

I have not told my family about this, as they have made it pretty clear how they feel about depression. To them, it is not an illness. It's just "something people get over". A phase. A couple of months ago I had an anxiety attack, and I was so unwell to the point where I had no choice but to call the paramedics. My hands went numb, my heart started thumping fast, my focus was gone, I felt like someone had their hands around my neck, choking me. I could not even manage to get up. The first my parents knew about this attack was when the paramedics showed up at our doorstep. They talked me through some techniques, which I found useful at the time. My parents looked shocked by my state, but within 2 days, they thought I was miraculously cured.

As you all know, there is no miracle cure for depression or anxiety.

I'm also currently a university student, studying full time and working 20 hour weeks. I feel more at ease in the workplace than I do at home. The paramedics have told me to separate myself from toxic environments that make me feel anxious, but how am I meant to seperate myself from that place when it is my home?

My parents are very religious, which I am not. So it is very uncomfortable for me. Unfortunately, I come from one of those cultures where moving out of home before marriage is a no-no. So I guess moving out is out of the question.

Before my depression started, I went through the terrible experience of watching my uncle have a heart attack, right in front of me. I was probably around 14 years old then. It was horrible. He then passed away from that heart attack. A year before that, my other uncle died, and a year after that, my grandmother passed away. These three people were the only people in my life who made me feel loved and like I was worth something. So as you could imagine, since their deaths, I've felt extremely lonely. Nothing is right anymore. I used to go out all the time but now I feel anxious about seeing my own friends.

I've tried talking to professionals, but it's just no help as they approach my issues too sensitively. Any advice?

I have had problems with depression also. Understand that we are all different, often very different from our family members, accept and celebrate your own persona. Keep your focus on school and work. Know that your departed family members accepted you as you are and their love is always with you. Using HealingWell is a great way to begin a support system that will help you be more comfortable with yourself. If we were all the same, life would be so boring. Be the best version fo you there is, and allow others to do the same.

Remember that sunshine and rain are both necessary for growth. You are growing into a compassionate and understanding person more each day. Accept the rain and celebrate the sun until you can laugh at the rain and others see the joy of sunshine in you.
Peace

Sorry to hear you are having these problems. I can imagine what it must be like to have your parents view on the situation. I suppose given the information you will have to keep roughing through it. Try to talk to them a bit more about it every couple weeks.

I am 30 years old and I had a lot of depression starting around the same age as you. It seemed to peek at about 26 and although ever lingering I do seem to get by. I really wish I had something better to tell you, but I do not. I used to get anxiety about being with friends or just random attacks likes yourself. Those are very very rare now just bit of depression

Login,

please review the DBT sites I gave you earlier, I believe you will find things the emt folks were doing with you. It is a great program that you will find empowering.

Peace
Trina

Don't answer your door. Put a sign up that you are studying. I don't see the connection as to why you can't practice dbt or cbt. It doesn't take a lot of time, and it becomes a lifestyle. People need to have respect for your boundaries.

Good luck studying. I hope you do well. Keep focused.

Hugs, Karen...