Breaking An Attachment?

Hi HW Friends,

Have a question…

How do you let go of a relationship with someone you’ve become really attached to. The relationship is toxic but I’m still attached, not sure why. He’s very ignorant. We cannot communicate without a verbal fight.
There’re many factors such as first relationship, abortion, etc. that’s may be reasons for my attachment. I’m not sure.
Its 5 years and things are getting worst. I’m suspecting they he’s cheating. I could be wrong but things never add up to what he says. There are signs like communication has changed, we talk less, don’t answer phone calls, cuts off phone during certain times, gets aggravated when I bring up certain topics, not interested, there’s not us anymore, plans for future have changes, and the list goes on and on… Maybe I’m looking at the fine things too much? I don’t know.

I’ve tried ending it before but it never worked out because I would feel the emotional pain and he knew that.

Is something wrong with me? Not sure why I’m so attached. I can never trust him but yet I’m attached and it’s hard to end things. We are both unhappy but neither of us will make the move to end things. Not sure what’s his reason.

I believe this relationship may be contributing to the way I’ve been feeling. Time is going-by and I’m stuck here...

Any suggestions to break this attachment?

UA

U.A

JB 1 is right . More often than not, a person's instincts is correct. And I know it can be hard to let go of a relationship when you have invested time and energy and most of all yourself into it for so long. So you have to ask yourself ONE question and then answer it truthfully . Are you in love with this man? Not do you love him but are you in love with him. There is a huge difference between loving some one you are with and being in love. After 25 years I can honestly say I am still in love with my husband. But my sis went through this with her husband after 18 years and when I asked her this same question, after much thought she told me that she loved him but more like they were house mates who fought over everything and she had not been in love with him in a very long time. She ended up talking to him and asking him the same question, and found that like her he was also not in love but more comfortable with the relationship and afraid of starting a new. But They both did in the end move on and i can tell you they are both much happier people who now can talk from time to time like friends and they don't have that bad breakup feeling between them. I hope you understand what i am saying and that you think about the question.. Good luck in what ever you find inside of this and I hope you will find someone that not only do you love but you are in love with and they in turn are in love with you. You deserve the love and you deserve to be in love. :)

UA,

at one time or another, most of us that have experience trauma, get into relationships like the one you are in now.

You must be strong, stop the cycle and say to your self. I am worth so much more than this!

For you are you know. No one deserves a toxic relationship.

Stop now, before things get any worse and the emotional abuse becomes more.

Peace and courage my friend.

Trina