ive been depressed since i was 9.

Hey. Uhh, this isnt the first time ive tried to get help. ive on antidepressants twice (im currently on prozac 20mg sid) i dont follow thru with the minimal counseling ive had, i nocall noshow for my apointments because im too afraid to go.
Ive recently broken off my engagement, and feel so empty and painful. Ive become promiscus and started smoking and drinking heavily every night just to sleep. I dont really care. alot of times i just feel like an empty shell of a person. I get super happy and hyper occasionally but then i crash into crying and saddness binges. My ex thinks im bipolar and im confused because i dont know what parts of that relationship was real and what was in my head, so i dont trust people around me to tell me what reality is.
Im not sure what im asking. Maybe just writting it down will help me somehow. I just know something in me has to change, i just dont have that switch in my brain any more.

Hi frenchaimee,

Just saying hi and welcome to the forum. Sorry about all that you're going through. As Karen suggested, I think you should probably see a psychiatrist and get some counseling. It will help you a lot.
I hope you feel better.

UA

French,

What is normal? There is no normal in life. One you see the doctor he/she can get you medications that can help level you out and you will feel more "in control".

Fear is only an emotion, it can not hurt you, you can be bigger than your fear and nothing will happen to you.

You as a person deserve all the help you can get. so try to move forward and work with the therapists and docs.

Peace and strength
Trina

Ok. So i made an apointment to see my dr. But its two weeks away. I have made apointments before and just no call no show them. I am pretty sure im going to be feeling better and not go to this one. I feel fine today. The past few weeks were a blur of someone elses mind.