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Posted 5/31/2013 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, making my first post. yeah! I think this is such an awesome forum! I'm not the best for reaching out to others soooo here it goes. Idk I just have this horrible anxiety about saying the wrong thing, looking stupid, or breaking a rule. Well, anyways... I was medically discharged from the Air Force for major depression. I didn't really have a thorough diagnosis. Just slapped me with something and sent me on my way. Well, I wasn't too keen on saying I had major depression, or taking the disability pay and going to the psych after I was out. Been some time to finally accept my mental illness. But I'm really interested in finding out exactly what is the issues I have. I been seeing this borderline personality disorder thing. Thought it might b a disorder I have. Need to do more research. One important note though is I have this alcohol issue. I am definitely an Alcoholic. But I think b4 the alcohol I had some serious issues as a kid. I do have PTSD. Well that is a few things about me. Thanks for taking the time to read this and feel free to comment on anything.

JeffE

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Posted 5/31/2013 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jeff,

Welcome to the forum. You have come to a good place. I am glad that you joined us.

Do you see a doctor now? Such as a psychiatrist? I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist. It really does help. I think that the best way to get a proper diagnosis is to see a psychiatrist. Instead of trying to diagnose yourself. If you have anxiety issues, it can really mess with you to read too much on the internet. I would address the alcohol issues with the doctor too. Alcohol does cause depression to get much worse. As it is a depressant.

Don't feel self conscious here, or inadequate in any way. You wont look stupid, and I am sure your not going to say the wrong thing. If you are worried though, there are forum rules that you might want to read.

Take care Jeff, and keep posting as it does help.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 5/31/2013 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Karren,

Thanks for replying! Yes, actually I was just at the Doctors office today. He was very thorough with everything. I felt very good about it. I use to see a psychiatrist but I didn't care for her at all. I'm a veteran but I use to have another insurance. Well I lost that insurance coverage so now I have to go to VA clinic. I'm hoping to see a different psych. I'm a lot more involved with finding out whats up. I do have 3 days sober and went to an AA meeting. It was good. I have such a terrible time with talking in front of people. The anxiety is unbearable. I have never really talked about it to anyone other then my wife. I can see if I don't talk in the meetings I won't get much out of it. Let alone stick around. I've tried AA once b4 for a very short time. I was able by the grace of God to speak three things I was grateful for today. Just to do that is terrifying! Hope all is well with u Karen.

Thanks Again,

JeffE
Posted 5/31/2013 11:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hey JeffE,

Congratulations on being sober!!! It isn't easy. I use to drink myself. I liked beer. I drank daily, but I don't like to get drunk. It relaxed me. But it never ended up very good. I am glad those days are over. Now beer is filling to me, I don't enjoy it anymore. And it saves money...

I hope you do get to see a different psychiatrist. Some psychiatrists are very strange. It is hard to find one you can connect with. But once you do, and they get you on the right medications, it is good. I find I get more out of a psychologist, though I see both. But my psychologist counsels and that really helps me.

I don't talk well in front of people either. In fact, speech was why I didn't get a college degree. To this day, I probably still couldn't do it. I have never gone to group therapy of any type because of that. I talk easier on here than anywhere.

I think you are doing good as far as seeking help right now. And to not be drinking that is awesome. I hope you give yourself a pat on the back. Try not to be hard on yourself while you are going through these transitions. Try to go with the flow of it. Stay mindful. And keep up the fantastic work.

Take care JeffE. Keep posting, it really does help.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/1/2013 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hey JeffE, welcome to the forum, you have found a great place to be. So many good people here. I am proud of your attitude on the alcohol. It can make the anxiety worse by far. I went cold turkey on my smokes 2 years ago this past March. My family was just throwing fits so I did it for them. I do feel better, but I still miss them, I loved smoking. Now, my new grandson is coming in July, and I never want that little feller watch his nanny smoking....

Keep on posting, have a great weekend.....regards...Cathy
Posted 6/1/2013 2:14 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jeff,

Just saying hi and welcome to the forum! Sorry about your depression. PTSD, etc.

Congratulations on being sober and attending the AA meeting. That's a very big step. Keep up the good work. I hope you continue to feel better.

UA
Posted 6/1/2013 10:37 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome Jeff,

Congratulations on your 3 and I hope today 4 days sober! It is a hard row we hoe by the Grace of God indeed!

Glad you like your new doctor, staying sober and on your medications will help a lot in handling your anxiety and any other issue you may be dealing with, such as past childhood traumas. Been there, I can empathize.

Like Karen said, be yourself on the forum, clean language, no talk of suicide or self harm and you are good to go.

Look forward to you postings, we will listen and support you the best we can and help to keep you sober via the internet!

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 6/1/2013 4:34 PM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

Wanted to say thank you for all ur replies. All ur words are very comforting!

Well, it sure was difficult to remain sober last night, obviously. But I did it. It really has to b 1 day at a time. Now I must think about today. Staying sober today! Its so easy to forget why I don't want to drink anymore when I'm in the fire. I pretty much already lost my wife and kids. Wife is expecting a divorce. Yep and I am living with my mom right now. B4 I was just set on going ahead and getting a divorce, but deep down I don't want a divorce. I try to put those thoughts out of my head and just work on me. Getting my psychiatrist and psychologist set up. Getting and staying sober. Which probably means attending AA regularly. But like I said I have major social anxiety. But I know I can do it. I'm so grateful to have stumbled on this forum. I have read a lot of different post going back several months. I'm so grateful for people like Karen, Trina, UA, Carl, Cathy, Michelle and many others. Keep doing what ur doing!

Thanks again,

JeffE
Posted 6/1/2013 5:16 PM (GMT 0)
Jeff,

when you have the urge to drink, hold ice cubes, it will shock you out of the urge for the moment so you can redirect yourself.

Hope you learn some good coping skills.

Peace
Trina
Posted 6/1/2013 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
We are all very proud of you. What you are going through isn't easy. But you are doing the best that you can, and it will pay off. Do take it one day at a time. Try not to pressure yourself. Go minute by minute if you have to.

Know we are all here in your corner...

Hugs, Karen...
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