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Posted 6/6/2013 1:10 AM (GMT 0)
I feel like i'm walking into a brick wall everyway I turn. From 15 I was kicked out of home 3 different times and I have asked my mother and there is no explanation, she suffers from severe depression. From 17 years old I have been renting on my own and have always financially struggled. I have been bullied at work by a psychologist since the beginning of the year and she gave me sever anxiety and fear on a daily basis. I have only just moved to a new apartment on Saturday after being given notice my previous apartment was being sold, and the I have new stresses in the new place as I have a cat that I am very attached to and I am not allowed to have pets. I have tried looking for a place that will allow pets but it seems there are not many at all. I have no energy anymore and cry on a constant anything sets me off these days. I am not my happy self with my partner either as I feel so lost and overwhelmed with life. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. cry cry cry cry
Posted 6/6/2013 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
Starting an adult life as a teenager is extremely hard and stays with you. Life is hard and it seems like everyday is a struggle. I have a loving partner that stands by my side through thick and thin but I am constantly worried about loosing him because he deserve someone so much better than me.

I walk around so numb everyday, I have no friends left because they all want to party and get drunk, where I just want to stay home with my partner or go out for dinner, movies, I don't like drinking as I cant really handle alcohol well so I stay away from it. My friends don't understand why I don't like clubbing and drinking so they have all created a lot of distance from me. When I try to talk to my sister she is so self absorbed with her life that she doesn't listen to me at all.

My work is demanding as I am a Manager for a medical centre so I try not to show my emotions or struggles at work because I need to pay the bills.

I'm trying to make an effort, trying to change my lifestyle a bit like more exercise and healthier food as I am used to never having time to eat so I was always munching on crap basically.

I cant get rid of my cat as he is like my baby, i've had him since he was 3 weeks old and my partner gave him to me. If I had to get rid of him I would suffer badly, I know it sounds stupid as people will say 'ah he's only a cat' but having him for so long and its only been me and him in the house for the past 4 years, it would break both of us if I had to get rid of him. He lets me cry and cuddle him all the time, he is my little support rock.

Posted 6/6/2013 10:22 AM (GMT 0)
Dear Mon,

I can so relate to your story, I started renting on my own, only a few year after you. I am now 52. What I can tell you is that if you stay away from drugs and alcholol, life will get better, little by little.

I can see that you are working very hard to change and work on yourself this is very important.

Perhaps if you get caught you can offer your landlord an asecurity deposit for the cat and he will let it stay. Thank worked once with me and one of my dogs.

I know you had a harrowing exepierence with a pysch doc, however they are NOT all the same, mind is quite human and nice. do think of using you insurance and seeing a therapist it may help you!

Stay strong and keep posting here.

Peace and strength
Trina
Posted 6/6/2013 11:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mon,

Welcome to the depression forum. All I can say is that you are trying and that pays off. Keep up the good work. I hope you find a place so you can keep your cat. I have a dog, and I don't know what I would do without her. She is my solid place and my center.

Keep posting and know we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen...
Posted 6/6/2013 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone thank you for your kind and supportive messages :)

I have never been a drinker or taken drugs thankfully!

I spoke with my partner last night and he is going to try and speak to my landlord directly about my cat and sort out some sort of arrangement as he agrees that I wont cope if I give i'm up. I am super lucky that I have my partner as he said last night to me "I will never let you drown, there is always a solution" wise words from my gorgeous man! He knows I love him to bits and he said he can see that I am trying to live a more positive lifestyle and understands my down days. Its hard for him to see some of my family members because of the way they treated me when I was younger but he still stands with me when I want to see them.

We talked and said because I have signed a 12mth lease I will stick it out and then we will move, he wants to buy a house that we can live in and he said I will feel more secure that way as well.

I've decided that if my friends don't like the fact that I would rather go to the movies or dinner and prefer not to drink and go clubbing, Its fine.

I am feeling a little more positive this morning after my talk with my partner last night.

My anxiety is still there regarding my landlord going to my premises while I am not there to have a sticky beak, it feels as if I have eyes on me when I am at home now.

Im with your wife carl, im sorry she had to give up her cat because they are everything! I plan to fight for my little guy im not giving him up.

In regards to the psychologist that was bullying me, she is a nasty person and has caused my anxiety to come back. I know all are not like that but I don't think I will ever have the trust for a psychologist. I agree not seeing the Drs/providers that you work with, that's your personal life and its too invasive for me.

 

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